#i almost even confused band together as the second movie at first LOL

[popppyfur]

in the entire trilogy I think the first movie is my favorite, but I'm ngl. If neither world tour or band together existed I probably wouldn't even be here

[measuredingold]

safety net: part two

authors note: part two as promised! i hope you all enjoy and feedback is always appreciated. (p.s. please be kind :) don't like it, don't read it!)

pairing: nicholas ruffilo x reader (previous noah sebastian x reader)

cross-posted on ao3

part one

word count: 4.0k

cw/tags: fake dating/pretend relationship, past relationship (with noah), angstish, all around fluff, kissing lol, p in v (protected sex!!!!! always use protection pals), fingering, 18+ minors do not interact

A week later, you’re back at Nicholas’, curled up beside him as another one of his favorite movies play on the screen.

"Oh." You turn your head to look up at Nicholas. "Did I tell you some guy tried to ask me out last weekend?”

Nicholas stills beside you.” …No. What did he say?"

Last weekend was the first time in weeks that you and Nicholas didn’t hang out with each other, both busy in your own respective ways. He had band things to do, and you had promised a few of your friends you’d go out with them, since you had committed a lot of your time to Nicholas and pretending. It had been a good night, a pretty fun one, until a man came up to you.

Your friends gushed, having known about your break-up with Noah but not your current agreement with Nicholas, and it came as a complete shock when you had declined his offer with a smile. Your best-friend stared at you in shock, like you had said no to the fucking lottery, but the second you said you already had plans with a friend of yours she knew. She was the only one besides Nicholas who knew about what the two of you were doing, and she always had her suspicions, but this confirmed it all.

She gave you an ear full the next morning and told you to get the fuck over yourself and tell Nicholas how you felt, in which you called her crazy and never spoke about it again.

You shrug, focusing back on the screen. “Eh, not much. Told me I was beautiful and actually asked if I was busy tonight, which I was, so I told him no.”

Nicholas goes silent next to you, and you feel him sit up. You glance up at him, his eyes already on you, and he’s looking at you like you’ve got two fucking heads. You look around the room, confused, then back at him.

“What?”

“You said no to a date… to hang out with me?”

You pause.

“Well… yeah.” You shrug again, this time weakly. “I promised we’d watch this episode together.”

And he wasn’t you.

“…Okay.”

Silence fills the room. You try to relax back against his bed, but the way Nicholas seemed to be so taken back with your words wouldn’t leave your mind. You shift uncomfortably as the worry fills your mind and try to focus back on the movie, but the silence next to you didn’t help at all. You spare a glance at him and see him staring straight ahead, chewing on his bottom lip and you can’t help but wonder what he’s thinking.

Did he find it weird? Really, it wasn’t that weird. It’s not that far-fetched to decline plans when you already had some made… right?

The movie finishes almost an hour later and the two of you have barely spoken, barely even looked at each other. He’s still sitting on the bed in silence, almost as if he’s fighting with himself mentally when you slowly get up, walking over to where you jacket lied against his desk.

“Hey,” His voice startles you, your jacket slipping from your fingers. You turn to look at him. “I have a question.”

You watch as he finally sits up and swings his legs over the side of the bed. He looks nervous, brows furrowed as he finally looks at you for the first time in an hour.

“What’s up?”

He plays with his hands in his lap, picking at his fingers as he dips his head down. “…What is this?”

“What is… what, Nick?”

“This.” He looks up again and motions with his hands between the two of you, lips pulled down into a frown. “Us.”

“Oh.”

You’re not sure what to say, mouth falling slightly. Your heart pounds against your chest as his words settle into your mind. Us. Was he implying what you thought he was?

“I…” You begin, but no other words follow. How can you even answer that?

You press your lips together as your eyes meet Nicholas’. Something shines in his eyes, something you can’t exactly place but it was the same look he gave you after your kiss, and it’s enough to have your stomach swirling with nerves. Your heart pounds rapidly against your chest.

“This…” Nicholas sucks in a deep breath but his gaze doesn’t waver from yours. “This stopped being… pretend to me a while ago.” He lets out a huff of laughter, cheeks twinging in pink. “Actually, I’m not sure if it ever was pretend.”

Your eyes widen at his words, and you’re stunned into silence, not able to find the right words. I’m not sure if this was ever pretend. What did that mean? Okay, you knew what it meant but he couldn’t be serious, right? There’s no way this entire time he was into you. He would’ve said something.

…Right?

You swallow down your nerves as you catch his gaze again and he reaches out for you, and like some kind of gravitational pull, you’re stepping forward. He pulls you closer to him, fingers circling around your wrists and your body heats up just at the simple touch. Your feet move before you can even think about it, standing in between his legs easily. He looks up at you, eyes bright and so fucking hopeful. He releases your wrists and rests his hands against your hips.

“Please tell me you stopped pretending, too.”

Clear, grey eyes stare up at you and you swallow down the lump that was beginning to form in your throat. You have to take a deep breath to try and calm yourself down, the feeling of being overwhelmed almost taking over your entire body. It wasn’t bad, no, but it was a lot. You had hoped for this, hoping that Nicholas had felt the same, and the fact that he does was enough to make you want to cry.

You give him a tiny nod, scared to use your voice and reach up to brush your fingers through his hair. His eyes immediately flutter shut at the feeling, and you see the ghost of a smile on his lips, and it has your heart feeling like it’s about to soar right out of your chest. You smile down at him, fingers moving through his hair before you scratch at his scalp gently. He had told you once that he liked when people did that, and you stored it into the back of your mind to maybe use another day.

Today seems to be that day.

His eyes open to stare up at you again, fingers gripping around your hips.

“Come here.” He murmurs, gently tugging you to him.

You follow, your legs rising to rest on the bed and on each side of his hips, settling onto his lap easily. He tilts his head up, only slightly, and your lips barely brush together. You gasp, low and quiet but you're sure he's heard, especially with the teasing grin threatening to stretch across his lips. Your arms shake with nerves as they wrap around Nicholas' neck and he notices, his hands sliding up and down your sides reassuringly.

"You're shaking." He mumbles as your foreheads press together. You let out a shaky laugh, eyes fluttering shut.

"Sorry." You say sheepishly, "I'm nervous."

"Why?" He squeezes your hips gently before letting his hands wander up under the hem of your shirt, fingers brushing against your skin. "This wouldn't be the first time we've kissed."

Your cheeks heat up at that and you roll your eyes playfully, pulling back to tilt your head up towards the ceiling as a groan left you.

"Okay, but that was different!" You whine, eyes squeezing shut. "We were pretending then. This time is real."

"I wasn't pretending then." He murmurs, leaning forward to press a chaste kiss against the base of your neck. You freeze in his hold and his thumbs rub soothing circles against the skin of your hips, pressing another kiss. "It was very real to me.”

You blush at his words, shaky hands reaching up to card through Nicholas’ hair as he continued to place open mouthed kisses along your skin.

“It was real to me too.” You whisper, and feel him smile against your neck.

His lips moved tenderly against you before he reaches your chin, pulling away from you. You whine at the loss, eyes finally opening and gazing back down at him. He tilts his head up, eyes hooded, and you feel yourself leaning down as your eyes flutter shut.

His touch felt like electricity, even if it was barely there, and you couldn't stop yourself from shaking in his hold as your lips finally met his in a kiss. You let out a noise, something mixed with a whine and a cry, as your lips finally moved against one another’s, and Nicholas' fingers dug into your skin. It went from gentle to heated in a matter of seconds, soft pants leaving the both of you as your hips rocked down against his own, your lips still working against his.

He hisses, "Fuck", his grip on your hips tightening as you ground your hips into his. You felt his hardening cock underneath your now aching core and the feeling made you dizzy, more noises slipping from you as you pulled away, trailing your lips from his down to his neck. 

"Baby," His voice is rough, and the pet name made you clench around nothing, teeth nibbling against the skin of his neck. He groans again. "If we keep going, I don't know if I'll be able to stop."

You feel one of his come up to the back of your head, fingers tangling in your hair to gently tug your head back and it pulls a whimper from you. His eyes were now blown wide, pupils dilated. It made your skin buzz, a shiver running up your spine at the look of pure desperation on his face. He wanted you just as bad as you wanted him. You rolled your hips down to meet his, your gaze never waving, and he pulled his bottom lip in between his teeth to hold in a moan.

"I need to know if this is what you want." He grits out and drops his hand back down to stop your hips from moving again. You whimper at the loss of friction, trying to wiggle in his hold, but his grip only tightens. "You need to tell me yes or no.”

"Nicky," You whine out, dropping your head to rest your forehead against his. "I would not be grinding on your fucking lap if I didn't want this. Yes, a million times fucking yes." 

You see his eyes flutter shut and he lets out a huff of air, lips slowly curling up into a teasing smile as his grip loosened on your hips and brings a hand up to rest on the back of your neck.

"That wasn't so hard, now was it?"

He brings your head back down to his as your lips catch in another kiss. There was no gentleness behind it this time, all wet and messy as you continued to work yourself over his lap. Even with the layers between the both of you you could feel just how big he was, and the feeling of his clothed cock had your cunt already soaking through your underwear.

His hands that were on your hips have slid up under your shirt now, touching you everywhere that he could. You moan against his lips, not caring if you were loud.

“Off.” He mumbles against your lips before pulling back, whining softly. “Let me take this off, baby.”

Your brain is mush at this point, and you stare at him with hooded eyes, trying to come back to earth, but he’s already tugging your shirt up. You raise your arms to make it easier and before you know it it’s already tossed to the floor. You hiss when the cold air meets your chest, forgetting you hadn’t put on a bra, and you feel Nicholas’ eyes glued to you. You flush under his gaze.

His hands drop back to your hips and gently raises you up from his lap, and you get the hint, moving off of him and crawling onto the bed. Shirt already forgotten, your back meets the bed and you look up to watch Nicholas find a place in between your thighs, sliding his shirt off and tossing it to the ground beside your own.

He leans down to take one of your nipples into his mouth, while his fingers come up to play with the other. You moan, back arching off the bed and into him, and you feel him smile around you. He pulls off to glance up at you, keeping his eyes on yours as he trails his lips down your middle before reaching the top of your pants.

You bite down roughly on your bottom lip as he starts working them off of you, your hips lifting to help him slide your pants down your legs. He groans when he nestles back in between your legs, cheek pressing against your inner thigh.

“God, you’re already soaking. Aren’t you, sweetheart?” His eyes aren’t on you, but instead on your center, locked on the dampness in between your legs.

You clench around nothing. “Nicky.”

Your whines pull him from his thoughts and his clear eyes flicker towards yours, brows raised in question. You blush.

“Tell me what you want.”

“You.” You whimper, growing impatient. “I want you.”

This makes him smile, all bright and pretty and your chest clenches at the sight. He leans up to press a few kisses against your hip before tucking his fingers into your underwear, tugging them down your legs. Once discarded, he dips his head back between your thighs, and without warning he licks a long stride up your drenched folds. You moan out in surprise, hands immediately darting down to tangle in his hair.

He takes this as motivation and shows no mercy, tongue flicking over your already swollen clit. You feel his pointer finger poke at your entrance before slowly sliding in, curling into the spot immediately. You squeeze your eyes shut as his mouth works against you, his finger slowly pumping in and out of you. It already felt like heaven, the heat in your stomach building up. He adds another finger, stretching you out deliciously, and you tug at his hair when you feel yourself clench around his fingers.

He pulls back from you and rests his cheek back against your thigh, still working two fingers in and out of you. You have to force yourself to open your eyes and stare down at him, a smirk settling on his now slick lips.

“Think you can take another?” He questions softly, turning his head to press a kiss to your thigh before resting his cheek against it again. You nod but whimper halfway through it, his fingers curling inside of you. “Words, baby.”

“Yes.” You moan out, rocking your hips up into his hand. “I can. Fuck. Give it to me.”

He adds a third finger, and you brace yourself for the stretch. It burns more than you’re used to, and he can tell, feeling your cunt spasm around his fingers. He hisses out a moan but pauses his movements, letting you adjust, before you give him the okay. The only sound in the room are your moans, getting louder with each thrust of his fingers. He pulls them out all too soon, the heat in your stomach almost snapping, and you can’t help but whine in protest.

“Sorry, ‘m sorry.” His voice is muffled against your thigh as he presses a few more kisses there. “But the first time I make you cum, I want it to be around my cock.”

His words have you shivering, and you watch as he pushes himself up and off the bed, and you can’t help but follow his fingers as they mess with his belt. He pushes his jeans down in one go, and your thighs clench together at the sight of his hardening cock straining against the fabric of his boxers. Your eyes widen as you watch him push his boxers down, his hard cock springing free from its confines.

You could feel that he was big when you were grinding on his lap earlier but seeing it with your own eyes made your mouth water, eyes following him as he finally crawled back onto the bed. He was definitely the biggest you had been with. You don’t think you’ve ever wanted something more in your life, and at this point you don’t care if it ends up inside you or your mouth. You just need it.

You start to grow impatient as he rolls the condom onto his cock, hips wiggling against the bed. He chuckles but doesn't say a word, a hand running up your thigh before hiking it up against his hip. He hisses as he wraps a hand around the base of his cock and drags his tip up and down your folds, and your breath hitches at the feeling of the tip catching at your entrance. He pauses, eyes locking with yours to silently ask if he can continue, and you nod.

You suck in a breath when he slowly pushes himself in, inch by inch, and your fingers grip around the bedsheets. The stretch burns, but it feels so fucking good.

“Fuck. You feel like fucking heaven, baby.” Nicholas looks down to where the two of you meet, before flicking his gaze back up to yours. “Alright?”

You nod, squeezing your eyes shut as he pushed further in.

“Mhm.” Is all you can manage to say through your ragged breaths, whimpering quietly when he finally bottoms out.

Nicholas leans forward, resting his arm beside your arm to hold himself up while his free hand comes up to cup your cheek. His hips still once he’s fully inside and you hear him take a deep breath, thumb brushing against your cheek. It takes you a few moments as you let yourself get used to feeling of him inside of you, the stretch finally turning from pain into pleasure, and your eyes flutter open to look up into his.

“You can move.” You hum out and he nods, dipping his head down to catch your lips against his own.

He pulls back until only the tip is in before giving a shallow roll of his hips. Even with the condom you were still able to feel everything, his cock sliding in and out of you with ease as his hips continued. Your back arches off the bed at the feeling of his cock pressing deep inside you, mewling his name against his lips. This only spurs him on, a low growl leaving him as his movements sped up.

Flesh slapping against flesh, the mix of heavy pants and high-pitched whines filled the room. You’re not even kissing now, lips parted and brushing together as Nicholas thrusted deep inside of you again, and again, and again.

“Shit.” His forehead presses against your own, eyes dropping down to where the two of you met and he gave a shallow roll of his hips that has you crying out. “Taking me so well, sweetheart. Like you were fucking made for it.”

His hips snap against yours to enunciate each word and your eyes roll back at how deep he was, at how full you felt, and your cunt clenched around his cock. He moans, deep and low from deep within his chest, and the hand that was cupping your cheek fell in between your bodies. Calloused fingers press against your swollen clit and your body jolts, back arching again.

Nicholas leans down, pressing messy open-mouthed kisses against the span of your neck, rubbing quick circles around your sensitive bud. The heat in your belly was building up once again and you knew you were close, the feel of his cock and fingers against your clit was slowly pushing you over the edge.

“C’mon, baby.” He groans out, followed by a moan as his forehead pressed against yours again, fingers pressing harder against your abused clit. “I wanna feel you, please.”

You came with a sob, your cunt spasming around his cock as the warmth of your release flowed throughout your body. You went rigid, back halfway off the bed, vision blurring. Nicholas whimpered above you, your pussy still clenching around him and he gave another deep thrust before going still, his face pressing against the crook of your neck.

The two of you lie there for a moment, chests heaving as you tried to come back to the present. It was hot and sticky, but you found yourself not minding the feel of Nicholas pressed against you, tiredly reaching up to card your fingers through his hair. He makes a noise, the hum of it tickling your neck, and you scratch at his scalp.

“Shit.” He finally says, pulling his head up to look at you.

You can only give him a fucked-out grin in response, the ability to form words having left you awhile ago. He chuckles before leaning in, pressing a much gentler kiss to your swollen lips before pulling away seconds later. He slips out of you carefully, but you still whine at the feeling, and he mutters out a quick “Sorry, baby,” before standing up from the bed and throwing away the condom.

He searches around the room for something to clean you off with before settling for the shirt he had just discarded, running it between your thighs carefully. You let him take care of you, only because you know how much he wants to, and the thought makes your skin buzz. You sit up on the bed and stretch out your now sore limbs while he changes into comfier clothes and watch as he grabs some for you.

“Arms up, sweetheart.”

You blush but follow his directions, arms lifting and letting him dress you. You weren’t used to this, usually having to defend for yourself after a hook up, but having Nicholas do this for you has your heart clenching.

Finally, in much comfier clothes than before you lie back down on the bed, on your side this time, and Nicholas crawls in beside you, tucking his body into yours.

“That was… nice.” You hum quietly as Nicholas pressed his face against your neck again.

“Just nice?” He teases. You let out a sleepy laugh as Nicholas wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you close.

“No, it was absolutely mind-blowing. Best sex I’ve had in a long time.” You say matter-of-factly, turning your head to press a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you.”

His body shakes with laughter now, his hand dipping beneath his your shirt. “… Are you thanking me for rocking your world?”

“I sure am.”

His laughter doesn’t subside until he pulls back to look at you, giving you another smile that you easily return. You share a glance before you’re leaning in, lips brushing against each other. There’s something behind this kiss, much tender than the previous ones shared, and you think you finally understand what he’s trying to convey to you without actually saying a word. It has your stomach turning, heart flipping beneath your chest as he pulls you into him, hand sliding down to your thigh to prop your leg up over his.

A knock at the door breaks your moment with Nicholas, the two of you pulling away to look at each other like a deer caught in a headlight.

“Uh,” You hear Jolly’s muffled voice from the other side. “I was going to ask if you’d like to join us for a movie, but I can uh… hear that you’re pretty busy. So… do you care to at least keep it down this time?”

You and Nicholas can only laugh in response and you press your face against his hair to try and hide your burning cheeks.

[carnationcreation]

Can you do Luke Patterson fanfic where the reader is Alex sister and is in the band who’s been in love with Luke all this time but he never noticed her. And ever since they met Julie she has seen them together has gotten jealous.So she hatches up one finally plan to make him jealous to get him to see her . And Luke realized he had been in love with her and confess to her . Sorry if it’s too much this is my first time asking for a request 🥺

TITLE: Unrequited (Luke Patterson x reader)

✌🏻Masterlist Taglist, Requests, and Works in progress!

Requested: Yes!

Prompt/summary:  Reader does one final attempt at getting Luke to notice her.

Word Count: 1,615

Authors note: appear I just write a lot of angst. Again Where’s my Love by SYML is the vibe lol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day we woke up on the floor of the garage in the year 2020 was the worst day of my life.

Or that’s what I decided at least.

Apparently we had spent the past 25 years in a dark room, with Alex crying for most of that time. The girl who found us, Julie, quickly became our only tie to the real world. We could only be seen playing if she was playing with us. We soon found out that we had unfinished business that we needed to attend to before we could properly cross over to the other side. We figured it was simple. Play the Orpheum and we were done. But getting to the Orpheum was going to be a lot harder than we thought.

Slowly we had started to build up a following on a thing called ‘YouTube’ where people share videos, I never thought such a wide library of videos could exist for free every single day. Practices became a daily thing, though I didn’t know if it was a good thing or a bad thing. 

I really shouldn’t be jealous. Luke has chemistry with everyone he sings with. Alex would kill me if he found out that after all these years I was still crushing on his best friend. I couldn’t help the feeling in my throat when I saw Julie and Luke singing together though... the feeling like I couldn’t breathe. Like all the air was being sucked out of me while I tried to keep the feeling of anger from bubbling over.

Why can’t he look at me like that?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I never meant to get him jealous, because I always thought making crushes jealous was unhealthy and only ever worked in the movies. But as soon as I started only talking with Reggie and Alex at practice Luke started to notice how I didn’t go out of my way to talk to him like I used to.

As time went on I started only singing with Reggie on stage for the harmonies. Every time I would look over afterwards I would see Luke staring at me with an almost blank expression.

The next few days were miserable for me.

My only desire then was to go up to him and tell him why I had been avoiding him. That I had seen every glance, smirk, smile, and laugh he and Julie had shared and say it was breaking my heart in two. I just had to watch in silence. The fear of causing drama within the band had taken precedent over my unrequited love. 

I never meant for it to be taken this far. After Caleb branded us I truly began to wonder if my place in the band really meant anything to anyone. My feelings poured out over a page as I explained everything to them in a letter. A stupid letter that I didn’t know if I actually was going to deliver or not. 

My worst fears soon became a reality after I saw their interaction outside of Luke’s house on his birthday.

Tears fell out of my eyes as I slipped the letter into his songwriting notebook and poofed out of the garage. I knew they would find it. I knew my brother would know the first place to look for me, so I avoided it.

I stood in the alleyway behind the Orpheum, tears falling down my face as I held onto my brother’s sweatshirt he had given me a few days prior. Hopefully I could still keep it.

“Are you ready?”

I turned around and saw Caleb standing in all his elaborate glory, “I guess so.”

He smirked, “Why so hesitant little dove?”

“Um,” I mumbled, a shiver went down my spine at his awkward nickname, “I’m just going to miss them.”

“Miss them? You’re going to miss them? Oh (Y/n), they haven’t even noticed you were gone. You’ve got nothing to lose.”

Tears began to form in my eyes. Breathing became hard as I realized I had been sitting here for hours, and no one came yet.

“Poor (Y/n), in love with a boy who doesn’t even notice her. A brother who was rejected by even his parents, and a best friend who doesn’t even notice her feelings. You can leave all that behind, just shake my hand.”

I stood there, debating on if I really wanted to give it all up. Did I really get a choice in this? I slowly lifted my hand, still hesitating.

“(Y/n), look around. They haven’t even come for you yet, and I’m sure that rat Willie already told them what you were doing. They just don’t care-”

“That’s not true!”

I turned around and saw my band running towards me.

“(Y/n) don’t listen to him? He’s manipulating you,” Alex said.

Tears fell down my face as Caleb grabbed my shoulder, “You’re too late. (Y/n) just look at them. They didn’t even notice as you drifted further and further away.”

My eyes flickered up, Luke locked eyes with me. Tears were forming in his eyes, “(Y/n) please don’t do this.”

I looked back down at the ground.

Julie spoke up, “(Y/n), you really don’t realize how much you contribute to this band. We all care about you so much.”

“I doubt she wants to hear from you,” Caleb scoffed, “Seeing as you stole the one thing she most wanted away.”

The boys looked at each other confused but the look on Julie’s face told me that she knew exactly what Caleb meant.

“(Y/n) I promise you, Luke and I are just best friends. I’m so sorry you felt like you weren’t important to us anymore,” Julie said.

Luke looked up at me but I tried not to meet his gaze.

“(Y/n),” Alex said, “You’re my sister. I can’t lose you too. Please.”

Tears ran freely down my face as I pulled myself away from Caleb. Luke ran forward and caught me as I began to fall.

Caleb let out a frustrated yell and disappeared. I didn’t even bother to look up as I sobbed into my hands.

“I’m so sorry,” Luke whispered to me. Alex pulled everyone into a group hug.

“Guys I’m so sorry,” I sobbed.

“This isn’t your fault,” Reggie said.

I brought my hands down to wrap around Luke’s shoulders, “I just didn’t feel good enough. I wanted to know if you guys really cared. I’m so sorry I should have said something.”

“We’re just happy we got here in time,” Alex said, he ran a hand through my hair, “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

My tears came to a slow stop, and eventually we began to walk home.

“Guys, I’m taking (Y/n) somewhere. We’ll catch up.”

The guys waved as Luke grabbed my hand and pulled me in a different direction. It soon became clear where he was taking me. 

“Do you remember this place?” he asked.

“Barely,” I said. I looked around the park I had always gone to, it had changed so much since 1995, “They tore the gazebo down.”

He looked over to where the rickety white structure used to be, a bathroom area was there now.

“I remember, you used to always go there after there was a fight at your house.”

I nodded, “Quiet, secluded, free to go to. Can’t tell you how many songs I wrote here.”

He pulled me over to sit on the benches near the playground. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he said. 

I looked up at the clouds, trying to get the answer straight in my head, “I just… I had seen how you looked at her. I wanted you to look at me like that. Once I started to pull away, no one seemed to notice. Caleb offered me his help, he said I’d be famous…”

“What made you hesitate?”

“I realized… I didn’t want a million admirerors, I just wanted one. Nothing could compare to that.”

I jumped as he reached over to grab my hand, bringing it over to sit in his lap as he covered it in both of his, “I want to be that person.”

“You always were.”

He smiled. He brought my hand up and placed a kiss gently on my knuckles. In a quick moment of bravery I leaned over and kissed his cheek quickly.

He placed both his hands on my cheeks before pulling me into a real kiss. The boy I thought I had lost was kissing me. The kiss I had always dreamed of but thought I could never have. 

We both pulled away breathing heavily. I looked up and giggled at his swollen lips and tousled hair knowing I probably looked the same. 

“I’m sorry it’s taken so long for me to say this. I love you (Y/n). I’ve loved you since the day I met you, I loved you after we died, and I loved you every moment till now. I guess the only reason why I didn’t do anything is I was so scared of you not liking me back, or how your brother would react.”

I sighed as he rubbed his thumb across my cheek, “How do you think he’ll react?”

“He told me while we were looking for you I should’ve asked you out weeks ago. He knows,” He laughed.

The sun had started to set, the light illuminated him making him look ethereal. I pulled him into another quick kiss, “I wish I had done this sooner.”

“What? The kiss or trying to sell your soul to a dead magician?”

I laughed, “Either.”

He smiled and wrapped his arm around me, “Don’t do the second one again anytime soon.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @thebookwormlife @talksoprettyjjx  @coolreallyfuzzystudentuniverse  @igotabadfeelingabouteverything @larrystylinson-sus @lovesanimals @aunicornmademedoit @thexhotmess @ssprayberrythings @registerednursejackie @peachyxdream @catieiscute2001 @julieandthephantomsblogduh @fangirling-allday @ashleyleblancx @alltimekp @wcnderwoo @unipanda1006 @disgustedchild @aberette13 @dpaccione @whyworry27 @number-0-iz @musicconversedance @owlgirl1209 @angelxfics @hamdehlesmis @solophantomsmultis @marinettepotterandplagg @idkanymoremansstuff @carleywhittaker @spooky-season-bitch @sunsetcurve-h @peresphoncs @lolychu  @joshy-obx @mochamiilk @starenemy @caitsymichelle13 @kiss-themoongoodbye @noncannonships @cherrybombboom @etherealexsistence @itskindyl @heidimortensen123 @starkeysgirl @nicolewithasoul @chenellearose @voguesir 

[txemrn]

The Picture Show

Book: TNA

Rating: fluffy; smidge of sensuality, smidge of angst

Word count: exactly 2000

A/N: Oof! I wanted to participate in wacky drabbles #102 this week, but long story short, the week got away from me, and I am painfully late in posting! That's okay, though! It's going up anyway, and I'm sure they won't mind me using their prompt (prompt will be in bold)! Huge thanks to @kat-tia801 for brainstorming this fic with me, and thank you to @chemist-ana for pre-reading (and convincing me it wasn't dumb lol). As always, these characters belong to our friends at Pixelberry (also, Caroline is the name I've given Sam's first wife; even though we know her real name now, old habits die hard... wow, pun not intended!).

***

A crisp, cool breeze manifests a gentle oasis for the gathered movie-goer crowd on the humid city street. Waiting in line to purchase tickets for their impromptu date night, Brynn casually ties a knot in the front of her knit band tee, exposing a thin strip of her Tuscany-sun-kissed skin. Finger-combing her almond waves, she tosses her careless strands into a perfectly teased bun to enjoy the reprieve from the stifling August heat.

“You’re making this too easy for me.” The familiar, smoky whisper sends a pleasure-filled jolt down Brynn’s spine as his breathy chuckles tickle her ear. His fingertips pad across her midriff, tucking his sizable hand into the front of her jeans. His other hand cups around her head as he presses his plump pout to the sensitive spots of her neck. “So, what’ll it be tonight: Melissa McCarthy telling jokes for two hours or scary paranormal demons?”

“The difference being?” Brynn jokes, pulling Sam’s hand out of her pants, lacing her fingers with his.

“Touché,” he chuckles, hiding a wide grin. Their lips meet together for a simple kiss just as the ticket booth attendant motions for them to approach. After collecting their tickets for the latest horror flick, the young couple approach the concession counter. “Wanna share a popcorn?”

Brynn’s eyes light up as she eagerly nods her head. “And gummy worms, please!”

“You are just as bad as the boys--”

“What does that mean?” Brynn jovially pinches Sam, aiming for his chest.

“Let’s just say that gummy worms were never on the weekly grocery list until you came around,” he smirks, raising an eyebrow while guarding his nipples.

“See? I improved your life in more ways than one,” Brynn quips.

Sam lets out a hearty laugh, pulling Brynn’s body closer to his. “Mmmm--” he kisses one side of her neck, “--so many--” he kisses the other side of her neck, his hand grazing the curve of her ass, “--different--” he suddenly squeezes hard, making Brynn yelp, “--ways--” he captures her lips in a hungry kiss.

A clearing of a throat abruptly interrupts the moment. “‘Scuse me, but did you want butter on your popcorn, sir?” Sam’s cheeks burn red as Brynn chuckles through a nod. “That’ll be twenty-eight eighty-one.”

Sam quickly double-takes as he pulls out his wallet. “I’m sorry,” he grins politely, “did you say almost thirty dollars? For popcorn and gummy worms?”

“And your wife wanted a large Coke Zero.”

Brynn smiles brightly as she dramatically slurps on a straw. “Yes, husband, your wife wanted a large Coke Zero,” she sardonically mimics the concession worker, batting her eyes innocently.

Sam lowers his voice. “For thirty dollars?”

“Actually for twenty-eight eighty-one,” the teenage attendant corrects.

“You’ll have to excuse him,” Brynn pats Sam’s chest, winking at him endearingly before turning her attention to the cashier. “He hasn’t been to the movies since de Blasio took office.”

The attendant gives a confused look. “Who?”

Brynn stifles a laugh. “Exactly.” She looks warmly up at Sam as he boops her on the nose, grinning smugly at her. She puts her hand in his hand that is holding his wallet. “I’ve got this, old man.”

“Absolutely not.” Sam pulls his hand away from hers. “What kind of gentleman do you take me for?”

“Sam, it’s not a big deal,” she reaches for his wallet. “You are always paying. Let me do this tonight. My treat.” He quickly snatches his wallet, lifting it above her head while shaking his head. “Samuel!” she titters, stretching to grab his wallet. “Why are you being so difficult? Put that away.”

“Brynn, c’mon, there are people waiting--”

“Exactly. Let me pay.” She pushes her petite body in front of Sam’s as she reaches for her own wallet. “Here, sir,” she motions to the cashier as she begins to pull out two twenty-dollar bills.

“No. Brynn!” Sam loops his arm in front of Brynn’s body, shielding her from pulling her money out. “Stop that!” He turns to the concession attendant. “Here, take my card--”

Brynn swats at Sam's hand, accidentally knocking his wallet out of his grasp, the contents of the billfold dumping out onto the counter. Brynn cups her mouth, laughing at an irritated Sam who is taking a large deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. She quickly hands her money to the attendant before turning her attention to Sam. “C’mon, let’s get this cleaned up--”

And suddenly, there it was, splayed out for both Sam and Brynn to see together: a picture of Sam’s late wife. In the nude.

Sam quickly snatches the picture up as well as his cards and cash, hoping Brynn didn't notice. When he looks back up, Brynn is already giving their tickets to the attendant to be admitted into the theater.

She noticed.

“Brynn--”

“I--I think I’m gonna need some more napkins,” she nervously interrupts, an out-of-breath pant to her voice.

“Ma’am? There are napkins inside," helpfully offered a worker.

“Oh,” Brynn appears defeated, refusing to look at Sam. “I’ll go grab our seats then,” she offers, power-walking away from her boyfriend.

“Brynn? Brynn?” His voice carries over the bustling hallway, but she doesn’t slow down. Once in the theater, Brynn anxiously stumbles in the low-lighting, picking out seats. Catching up to her, Sam’s hands kindly grip her shoulders. “Brynn. Please. Talk to me.”

She cordially smiles at him. “Talk about what?” She sits down, nervously pawing to open her bag of gummy worms.

Sam steals the bag of candy from Brynn. “Are you seriously going to pretend that didn’t just happen?”

“Pretend that what didn’t just happen--”

Putting his hands on his hips, he raises his voice. “You seeing my wife’s tits.” With the sudden cascade of snickers and gasps from fellow patrons turning to stare, Brynn grabs Sam’s arm, yanking him down into his seat.

Sam leans over, whispering into Brynn’s ear. “Please, let’s just talk about this--”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Sam,” her eyes stare intently at the large white screen.

“You’re mad.”

“I’m not mad.” Brynn begins wringing her hands as her foot nervously bounces. “I just,” she sighs before becoming quiet, her voice audibly shaking, “I--I didn’t know. I mean--damnit, Sam, you keep a photo of her in your wallet?”

“Of my wife?" He enunciates, making Brynn feel foolish. "Is that wrong of me?”

“No,” Brynn’s lower lip begins to tremble, “yes? I--I don’t know, Sam. I don’t know what I’m supposed to think right now. I figured you'd have a picture of her. Just with, uh, I mean. She would be, um--"

"Clothed?" Sam smirks.

Brynn gradually looks into Sam's eyes, but finds herself abruptly avoiding his gaze as questions flood her mind. Why would he be keeping a nude photo of his late wife? How often does he look at it? Is that even her business to know? To care?

The house lights turn down as the roar of advertisements brightly flood the screen. Brynn rests her chin in her hand, fighting tears. Even though the excitement of the music and vivid colors enthralls the audience, Brynn is a million miles away. She feels completely confused as to how to feel about this situation. Was she even allowed to be upset about this? Why couldn’t things just be simple for once in their relationship?

“Brynn?” Sam beckons for her from the clouds, bringing her back to reality. He lifts up the armrest between them. Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, he pulls her into his chest, peppering her hair with kisses.

As the movie ends, Sam and Brynn remain silent, making their exit to the streets of New York. After a few blocks, Sam stops, sensing Brynn’s heightened emotions. He can tell she’s still bothered by what happened before the movie.

He sighs heavily. “Let’s talk about it.”

Brynn lets go of his hand, scoffing, spinning around to see if anyone was watching. After a few moments of silence, she can feel the heat budding in her cheeks. She crosses her arms, and while staring at Sam, she lets out an inaudible ‘okay’.

With sincerity in his voice, Sam locks eyes with Brynn. "I honestly haven't looked at that picture in months. I completely forgot that I even had it. But--” he hesitates for a second, choosing his words wisely, “--throwing it away seems like the wrong thing to do."

"Caroline* and I didn't have sex until our wedding night." Brynn's eyebrows furrow before her eyes widen in shock. Sam continues. "She wanted to wait until marriage, especially given," he takes a deep breath, "my past--which you know about." Brynn nods. "But then the night before our wedding,” a smile blossoms across his face in remembrance, “she gifted me this wallet. With this picture. She said it was her promise to me--her all to me. I know you see a nude picture. But,” he sighs nervously as his eyes glaze with tears, “it’s always been so much more than that.”

Brynn considers his words, a warm smile growing on her face. She finally holds out her hand, for Sam to take. “Let’s go home.”

The next night, Brynn did bedtime alone with the boys. The penthouse had been fairly quiet throughout the day, even after Sam came home late from work. There is still an awkwardness in the air, and even though Brynn and Sam weren’t angry with each other, they also didn’t know what to say.

Closing the twin’s bedroom door, Brynn quietly tiptoes to the home office in her robe, knowing Sam is lost in his paperwork. She cautiously knocks on the door. After a few moments, the door whips open, Sam grabbing Brynn and jerking her inside.

“Since when do we knock on doors, babe?” Sam sits back into his leather tufted chair, pulling Brynn onto his lap, endearingly rubbing circles on her lower back.

“I--I wasn’t sure if you were busy, or--or if you--”

Sam holds his hand over her mouth, a smile growing across his face. “You know better.” He grabs her hand, kissing the back of it. “Now, what’s going on?”

Brynn coyly looks up at Sam, clearly nervous to ask her next question. “Can I see your wallet?”

Sam’s face falls, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Why?”

“I want to see it.”

Sam can’t bring his attention to Brynn. He never removed that photo of his first wife, nor did he know how Brynn was currently feeling about the nude picture. All he does know is he better pull out his wallet. And start praying for mercy.

Brynn stands up, circling around Sam’s office chair. Sam reaches in his back pocket, pulling out the wallet. Brynn wraps her arms around his shoulders, brushing her nose against his ear. “Open it,” she commands with a sensual, husky tone.

Sam dutifully opens his wallet to the plastic picture holder. His cheeks begin to swelter with pink growing down his neck. He can feel a queasiness growing in his gut as he lays it out for Brynn to see.

“Aren’t you going to look?”

“Brynn?” He throws off her arms, becoming irritated. “What kind of game--?”

And that’s when he sees it: a picture of his stunning girlfriend, carefully photographed in the nude with her hands posing perfectly across her assets.

Sam’s eyes quickly dart around the room, finding Brynn locking the door and uncinching her robe. Letting the fabric pool on the floor, she straddles her naked body across his lap, his hands unable to resist.

Brynn grabs the wallet, pulling out the nude photos of herself and Sam’s first wife. “This may have been her promise to you, and you can keep it for as long as you want,” Brynn pulls out her photo, handing it to Sam. "But, this. This is my promise to you, Sam Dalton." She leans over, stealing his breath with a fervent kiss. “I love you.”

Cupping her cheek, Sam’s eyes gather tears as he looks admirably at his new forever. “I love you, too.”

***

Tags: @ao719 @charlotteg234 @chemist-ana @choiceskatie @forallthatitsworth @jessiembruno @kat-tia801 @khoicesbyk @lovelyladyk88 @lucy-268 @neotericthemis @nestledonthaveone @phoenixrising308 @sfb123 @shannonwrote @shewillreadyou @taniasethi @thefrenchiemama

[getofy]

matchup: #1 - hq boy w/ an extroverted fem reader!

—a/n: wow im genuinely so sorry for taking so long. literally school is ruining my life and i also um,, haven’t been doing the best this past month. i really hope this makes up for it !! it’s kinda long so my bad...also this is NOT proofread lol i apologize if it sucks aaaa.

DISCLAIMER: while this is a personalized matchup, they’re still headcanons, so basically anyone can enjoy them! :]

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hello @/meremoomoo ! you are so cute and tysm for being patient about ur request. i debated who you would go well with for a while, but in the end i came up with...

SUGAWARA KŌSHI!

-

#SUGA: “YOU’RE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!”

#Y/N: “THANK YOU KŌSHI :].”

-

☆ SUGA IS PERFECT FOR YOU, AND HERE IS WHY—

PERSONALITY TYPE:

suga has a personality type of INFJ, which compliments your ENFP personality type well.

“...you may benefit from perseverance in this relationship. your sensitive, sympathetic nature may at times overtake you, leading you to make decisions that feel right but are not really the wisest option. this person, whose approach seems so cold at times, can help you to tune into your powers of objective reasoning and ensure that you are not letting emotions rule your life.” —some website i found

while INFJs are not the most compatible with ESFPs, your other personality type, wonderful things can still come out of INFJ/ESFP dynamics! 

“your differences mean that you actually have a lot to offer one another. your counterpart may inspire you to slow down and think more deeply about the meaning of things, rather than just doing what feels right in the moment. in turn, you can help them to get out of their heads and enjoy life for what it is.” —some website i found

HOW YOU GUYS MET:

sugawara and you did not start off on the right foot at first...

the two of you were in the same class and sat very close to each other so he decided that he really wanted to get to know you.

he also just really likes becoming friends w/ people lol

since you were always laughing loudly with your friends during break time, he deduced that you had a good sense of humor.

he decided that jokes seemed like the right way to get to your heart win you over!

easy enough, right?

wrong.

apparently, he had caught you on a bad day because his attempts to be friendly were not received well. at all.

poor suga.

he does his best to be kind to everybody, but at the same time, he does love to poke fun at others. he probably took one of his jokes too far or something?

or maybe you really were just having a bad day?

who knows.

anyways, after that awkward encounter, he did his best to avoid you.

it’s not that he hated you, it’s just that he thought you hated him. it sort of bummed him out because you seemed cool, but he wanted to be respectful of your feelings!

*sorry it’s not enemies to lovers, but it’s close enough i hope ?

HOW HE DISCOVERED HE LIKED YOU:

the class had finished testing early, so the teacher decided to put on a movie.

AND FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON THE MOVIE WAS OLD YELLER?!!?!?

(basically it’s just an incredibly depressing dog movie. like, if you’ve never seen it then just imagine the saddest movie you’ve ever seen 10x)

anyways, you ended up crying. very loudly.

sugawara was incredibly concerned for you, since you seemed to be genuinely distraught, but he didn’t say anything

eventually, the teacher caught on to your disarray and excused you from the room so you could go calm yourself down.

after some time, the teacher tells suga to go check up on you to make sure ur not dead or whatever lol (you were taking a while).

he was hesitant to do this since he knew you weren’t too fond of him, but suga decides to do it anyways since he didn’t want to be a disobedient student.

he finds you sitting on a bench with tears streaming down your face

and MAN!!

all at once, suga gets this overwhelming urge to make you feel better. but like, as in, he-never-wants-to-see-you-in-this-kind-of-state again-otherwise-he-might-breakdown kind of urse.

despite not being super close to you, he had gotten so used to your large smiles and extroverted demeanor, that watching you cry felt foreign to him.

he missed your smile.

he soon realizes that seeing you upset hurts him because he genuinely cares about your well-being.

so he decides to make it his personal mission to make you smile again.

suga takes the spot next to you voicelesslyand tries his best to talk you through your dismay.

you don’t seem to mind the company, and to his delight you don’t seem to hate him as much as he thought you did!!

suga is very grateful for this

anyways, he manages to cheer you up, and the tips of your lips turn up into a small grin—just like he wanted them to.

AND BOY OH BOY WHEN THEY DO!!

whew this man’s heart skips a BEAT baby and he is lowkey spiraling lol he’s so confused like why is this girl’s smile making me feel some type of way

he had been so focused on what you thought about him, but he had never once stopped to consider what he thought about you (until this very moment, of course).

turns out suga was incredibly fond of you

yeah, that’s how he knew.

suga brain go brr 4 pretti girl

HOW HE CONFESSES:

you two had been hanging out more frequently as of late

and getting to know you was only making suga‘s crush grow EXPONENTIALLY

after many nights spent in long contemplation, he came to the conclusion that it was time to ‘man-up’ and just rip off the band-aid that was being honest about his feelings.

he buys a single flower (tanaka’s advice) and waits by your locker

very very simple and sweet confession typa beat :(

literally SO nervous pls help . he’s scratching the back of his neck and holding the flower out to you with a slight twinge in his cheeks.

“y/n...i know you weren’t too fond of me at first, but i...i don’t know i think we’re great together! and now that we hang out and stuff i was thinking that maybe we could-“

yeah you cut the poor boy off and said yes to put him out of his misery.

literally verbally celebrates when you accept his flower. does a lil victory dance and everything.

ugh yall r so cute.

AFTER HE CONFESSES:

YOU GUYS GET TOGETHER INSTANTLY WOOOOOO

somehow the most wholesome and chaotic couple to ever exist???

you guys spend like every waking moment together it’s adorable

noya and tanaka would jokingly hit on you and suga would pretend to be actually jealous.

i hc him as being a somewhat possessive-y boyfriend so do w that what you will

total best friend kind of lover but he’s also a sweetheart and rlly romantic + respectful abt ur needs:(

y’all r super comfy w each other !!

WHAT HE LOVES ABOUT YOU:

sugawara is usually the kind of person that’s always there for other people so he appreciates the fact that you’re the same way! you guys bond over your shared therapist/mom-friend tendencies, and quickly become the support systems you so desperately needed prior to getting together.

he’s there to listen to you about your problems and vice versa.

he adores how you can meet and sometimes even exceed his energy. it’s a nice change of pace since he usually gets scolded by daichi. </3

thinks it’s cute how much you care for animals! you’ll often find him staring at you in wonder as you pet a random dog on the street lol.

MISC HEADCANONS:

will spend hours on end watching you play video games on FaceTime. after a while, he ended up buying his own console and now you guys play together!

he’s fairly competitive, and will whine whenever you destroy beat him in a game!

he’s so cute pls

one of his favorite things to do after a long day is sit and play slower paced games such as minecraft and animal crossing with you.

whether it’s about your fav historical monument or about a new show you saw, suga will listen to you talk for hours and never get bored. usually he’s always got something to add to the convo though. sometimes you guys get overly excited together and end up speaking over each other in the same way.!

is INCREDIBLE at getting you to calm down?? like, if you ever need to be put in your place, suga knows exactly what to say to do it. does this make sense? lol. you guys have big ying and yang energy sometimes i feel.

you’re his BIGGEST supporter. whenever he’s put into games, you’re always the LOUDEST one cheering him one.

it really touches him to know that you’ll always be there to root for him!! even mr.refreshing gets down sometimes, so it’s incredible to have someone as positive as you by his side constantly reassuring him.

he’s a big animal person as well so you guys like going to volunteer at shelters together!

this was actually your second date HAHA.

if a dog is within a 40 ft radius from y’all, it is almost guaranteed that you guys will sprint to go pet them.

since you’re both athletic, you guys help each other practice sports together! suga’ll throw u soft toss and help you run drills and hype u up before games. & you’ll help him work on his technique and such <33.

y’all totally gossip together wow. you said you were a bit on the meaner side of the spectrum and lowkey he doesn’t mind AT ALL. he lives for it HAHAHAHA.

he literally thinks you’re stunning so it upsets him whenever you get insecure, but he’s always got the right thing to say to cheer you up! genuinely just,,,, so good with his words. if you’re having a bad night, he’s ready to come to your rescue with a gentle smile and funny one-liner and maybe a documentary if you’re lucky enough.

in his eyes, everything about you is beautiful. your hair. your freckles. your body. your laugh. your smile. everything!! he’s going to do whatever it takes for you to love yourself in the same way he loves you.

this man so whipped smh 🙄🙄

tl;dr: suga thinks you hate him. you don’t. you start hanging out. he confesses to you by the lockers. you start dating. you are infinitely better at gaming than he is and will never let him forget it.

YOUR ANTHEMS (in no particular order):

darling by christian leave

pleasantries (with your lover) by mustard service

upside down by jack johnson

sunflower, vol.6 by harry styles

what do you like in me? by nasty cherry

MOODBOARD:

pic 1 | pic 2 | pic 3 | pic 4

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—CONGRATS! YOU’VE WON THE HEART OF ONE OF THE PRETTIEST SETTERS ON THE BLOCK. TREAT HIM WELL! ☆

*do not repost my work without proper credit and my explicit premission

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[xcziel]

get to know me

tagged by @vishcount (thank you!!) and i'll follow her format bc making two posts seems a little much - i'm not that interesting!!

(hilariously, this post shows up as blocked for me bc of the tag 'joker' which? tumblr?????)

Part I

name: i'm an internet old, so i never use my real name online, mainly because it's spelled in a very unique way (thanks mom & dad) - i mean like, if you googled it you could find my home address in a few seconds kind of unique - but also, though i do enjoy the spelling, i actually don't like it very much when it's said out loud? (is it weird that my name written down is 'me', but my name aloud has never felt like 'me'?) always wanted a nickname but never acquired one :/

at any rate, i've had the username xcziel forever and i go by that 😊 (pronounced ex-SEE-zee-el, similar to etc. or ex-SET-er-ah! thanks @xia-xueyi for pointing out that it can be confusing to guess!)

rest behind a cut because it got long!

pronouns: she/her

star sign: i don't ... really *do* astrology? but technically saggitarius

height: 5'4" (162.5cm for the intl folks)

time: 5:43pm but these thing take me forever to type out so ... ???

birthday: playing the 'internet old' card again .. but it floats around american Thanksgiving depending on the year

nationality: american

fave bands/groups/solo artists: lumping these together because i just .. don't really do music much anymore. if you had asked me this back in my 20s i'm sure i would have had all kinds of opinions and things to share, but these days i actually mostly prefer to listen music from when i was a kid. part of it is also that as an old, i prefer to buy my music, even digitally, and i don't really use spotify - which does so much to enable diverse music exploration i admit! but i mostly have earplugs in all the time and music does not work for me as background noise, so...

so i guess my answer would be 70s disco and classic rock and 80s new wave artists? i've never liked any artist's entire discography and prefer greatest hits-type compilations, but i guess duran duran and def leppard and depeche mode would be considered formative? i love new order but specifically late 80s new order, NOT joy division. the only concert t-shirt i've ever worn was the cult? i loved sonic temple but i can't listen to most of it anymore though i still adore love removal machine. i think maybe if you get old enough, for some of us there's TOO MUCH good music and we can't pare it down anymore

song stuck in your head: jamiroquai's canned heat

last movie you watched: re: the above, i re-watched center stage, the 2000 one with zoe saldana and the mandy moore soundtrack, bc it's a happy comfort movie and i just got a digital version

last show you binged: i can't really "binge" very often bc after a couple of hours i need a break, so i guess i'd say the tgcf donghua on netflix since it was short enough to get through all in one go

when you created your blog: in 2012 i stopped lurking so i could post about the avengers movie

the last thing you googled: 5'4" in cm? lol before that it was chinese wrapped street food

other blogs: everything is here! i discovered i compartmentalize about as well as i tag reliably (😓) but i do have several automated ao3feed-tag style sideblogs. and i did, very briefly, have a *winces* hockey sideblog too

why i chose my url: ooh i know i've done this before, sorry if it's repetitive, basically it was the username i picked back when my family first got aol: short, unique combo of letters - 14-year-old me really thought about it! and then it wouldn't let me use anything other than my name. thirty-some-odd years later, trying to come up with a livejournal username that wasn't already taken and getting fed up, i plugged it in and went: good enough!

how many people are you following: like 760-something last i checked? although many, many, many of them are deactivated

how many followers do you have: idk i don't like looking at that stuff, but way fewer than i am following

average hours of sleep: it varies too much day by day, my sleep schedule is too wonky, i have no idea what the average would be

lucky numbers: 7? cliché i know, and again not really buying into it, but somewhere in my hindbrain i like it that my first, middle, and last names all have seven letters

instruments: none. i like singing

what i'm currently wearing: giant black t-shirt and baggy black drawstring shorts, standard sitting around the house gear

dream job: don't have one. if i did it would give me something to be working towards *sigh* this is how you end up in retail for decades, kids! but also, to quote a random post i saw in true tumblr fashion "i simply do not dream of labor"

dream trip: covered this one before but: back to the uk and some railway daytrips, or a really fancy northern cruise, atlantic/pacific either one

fave food: uhhh, don't really have a favorite but i'm almost always in the mood for pizza

top three fictional universe you'd like to live in: none really, if i had to still be me..maybe some kind of actually utopian future? but the pandemic has confirmed for me that i do NOT like living in interesting times, so most fictional story universes are RIGHT out. my favorites to read about like discworld or diana wynne jones' worlds would be way to chaotic for my comfort. possibly diane duane's young wizards universe would be safe enough to be okay?

Part II

last song: watching center stage made me think of my dance playlist so sunrise by simply red

last movielast stream: i don't watch streams or youtube often, so it was the same as you, vish! liu chang's birthday stream was SO enjoyable i screenrecorded the entire thing just so i could play it back (and maybe gif sometime if i ever get the drive to actually do it)

currently reading: well i just finished the translated quan qiu gao kao or global university entrance exam novel, which was sparked purely from catching a single rec post here on tumblr and basically just *falling* into this 166 chapter epic that is *amazing* and not coming up for air until i got to the end, which is typical novel-reading behavior for me (yes i was the kid who read through lunch period and got hassled by people who kept pestering me with "what're you reading" questions and yes i realize probably a lot of you on tumblr were too) plus, the new murderbot novel is out tomorrow!!!!! so that'll be where i end up next!

currently watching: the entire dmbj verse (that i can get my hands on) but ... sporadically and stopping at random different parts because the thing is ... this type of show is not really the kind i enjoy so much? so since it's more for "research" and learning character arcs (and let's be honest: shots of liu sang), etc. it's easy to get distracted by other stuff. i'm also watching the sleuth of the ming dynasty, mr queen, bromance, the expanse, re-watching farscape and stargate sg-1, just finished the falcon and the winter soldier, and then anytime something new and short gets introduced it jumps the queue. there are just. so. many. things. to. watch! (now i have to look into anti-fraud league too!? you all are cruel ...)

what is antipoetry to you: i ... don't really think much about poetry? i know what i prefer is usually the more basic rhymed kind like lewis carroll, emily dickinson, poe, coleridge, etc. so i suppose i don't have much use for classifying non-rhyming verse? i can appreciate stuff like rupi kaur which i guess would qualify? or that william carlos williams plums poem? but it doesn't really stick with me the way lyric-like verse does

currently craving: i never know what exactly this is meant to be in reference to ... hmmm, i would love a new high-concept, high production-quality movie like say, pacific rim, to be released, just for that massive, excited energy that comes with something new that hasn't already got tons of disappointing or conflicting history behind it - that would be so fun!!

other than that, right now, i mostly kinda want some fried fish? but that will have to wait until i go to get my second vaccine shot on wednesday since it's on the way there. i'd also like my internal body parts to settle down and fly right but it's been more than a month and they don't seem inclined :(((( maybe once i'm fully vaxxed i'll think about consulting somebody about it

tagging @foxofninetales @xia-xueyi @momosandlemonsoda @memorydragon @thewindsofsong @elvencantation @mylastbraincql @hesayshesgotboyfriend @aurawolfgirl2000 @smaragdine-galaxy and anyone who wants to! but never feel obligated and if you don't get around to it for like half a year that's totally fine, i am still interested!!!

[sometimes-i-write-4-you]

hi! :) could it get a stanley barber x reader with prompt 23 of the romantic prompts?

Hate (how) you (make me feel) - Stanley Barber x reader

a\n - this took so long lol, hope you like it. i feel like there were’nt that many scenes with him but that’s just how the idea rolled so i promise to post a second Stanley fic featuring more of him.

trigge warnings: angst, cursing

word count: 3243

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stanley Barber was my best friend, and I'm saying “was” because he’s been ignoring me for about a week now. I don’t know what happened, but I guess he just got tired of me, which was not very typical for him - he’s the type of guy to stick with you through thick and thin, he’d walk through fire with you even if you started it. However, it was typical for people to get tired of me. It’s not the first time my friends walk away from me, and if I survived losing them, i’ll survive losing Stanley, but this is different. The thing is, he wasn’t just my best friend. I truly liked him. I mean, liked-liked, like, I love him. He doesn't know, obviously, I'd never risk our friendship. The last time we hung out i almost did it, kind of confessed. Maybe this is what scared him off?

I open my computer and search up “how to get over losing a friend?”

1.  Don't try to force closure.

A week ago, Stanley and I were still okay. I was planning to ask him to go to homecoming with me. As friends, of course, but i guess that’s out of the question now. My mind travels to the last time we hung out.

“(y\n)!” Stanley smiled at me from the porch. He ran toward me, even though he wasn't wearing shoes. He almost slipped over a random rock in the driveway, but it didn’t stop him from reaching out and pull me into a hug. His hugs were the best hugs ever, and nothing can convince me otherwise. “Hey stan '' I replied into his chest, since I didn't get the chance to stand on my toes and minimize the height difference, which kind of made the hug even better.  “Yo, i have to show you what i got! I searched for it for so long, and I finally got it!” he said, grabbing my hand and running into his house. “My dad is, uh, he’s away, which means that, uh, we can watch it right now!” he kept going as he dragged me to his room. His hand still held mine when we arrived, and I hoped he’d blame how red my cheeks got on the running. His other hand grabbed a VHS from his desk, “look!” he smiled, leaving my hand to hold the VHS right in my face. I took it from his hands. “It’s (your favorite 80’s movie)!” I smiled, looking down at the VHS. he took it back and ran upstairs, “come on!”. I followed him upstairs, and arrived just in time to catch him sliding on the floor rock-star style toward the VHS player. “There’s- uh, there’s popcorn bags in the cabinet next to the fridge” he called, and I walked past him toward the kitchen, ruffling his hair on my way to get the popcorn. He claimed to hate it, but it was funny how he’d get mad. “(y\n)! It took forever to- ``''get my hair to look this good, don’t ever touch it again because i know where you live!” I mimicked him. He always said this exact sentence, which followed a “and what would you do?” from me, and to that he had a different answer every time. “I’ll take away your popcorn privileges!” he threatened this time. “Whatever” I laugh.

By the end of the movie we were cuddled up, his hand on my shoulder and my legs over his lap. I leaned on him while trying to dig up some popcorn crumbs from the bag. He took the bag and poured the crumbs in his mouth. “Stan!” i said, punching his chest. He moved the bag and I suddenly noticed how close our faces were. His eyes looked right at me, and I felt my heart skip a beat. He stuck his tongue at me breaking the awkward stare.”i love you” i thought to myself. I didn’t even realise I said that out loud until Stan got up. “What? Wait? Are you serious?” he asked, and i was quick to deny the meaning behind it, thought it was not smooth. “Of course buddy, you’re my best friend, '' I said, getting up to pinch his shoulder. “Oh! oh, right, yeah, love you too, buddy” he smiled at me. “Well, i gotta go to.. Work” i made up, desperate to escape the scene. “Really? I didn’t see your name on the shift list-” Stan said, confused. I forgot we work at the same place. “Uh, yeah, Jason wanted me to replace him, he has a.. Huge test and he didn’t have the time to study” i lied. “O-” stan started, “kay”. I was already on the other side of the door though. 

I later on looked at the shift list, it was Jenna and Carla’s, so Stanly probably knows I lied. Maybe that’s that, so no need to talk to him about his sudden distance. 

2. Give yourself a lot to look forward to

What can I do to keep myself busy? Maybe I can take up a new hobby - guitar, painting, writing. I can talk to mrs. Miller to get more shifts a week? I’ll talk to her today. Wait, shit, today. I have a shift with Stanley. We rarely get to work together, since Mrs. Miller knows we tend to talk instead of working, it was like that ever since we met at my first shift.

“Stanley, I'd like you to meet (y\n), she’s going to replace me since I'm leaving for college tomorrow. I was supposed to teach her the job, but my mom stalled with choosing a replacement. I think she tried to get me to stay. You think you can show her around?” Frank said. Frank Miller. He’s dating my brother, so he hooked me up with this job since his mom is the owner. “Sure thing, Frankey” the curly-haired boy said, and Frank left us to be. On our way here he promised i would like the company, “you’d get along just fine, (nickname), Stanley, for example, is just as weird as you, if not more. He’s the only person to call me “frankey” other than my mom” were his exact words, and when Stanley noticed your bloodwitch shirt, it turned out that he was right. 

“First thing first, you gotta change, unfortunately we can’t wear awesome band shirts to work. I know. It’s stupid” he said, and took a pink polo shirt identical to his from under the table. “And what’s your favorite bloodwitch song?” he asked me, tossing the shirt at me. “Hard question” I replied, putting on the pink shirt and adjusting the tuck. “A gun to your head, what’s your answer?” he says. “Well, a gun to my head… (your fav)``I say, and he smiles. His smile is so pretty, and even though i barely know the guy, i know that i’d love to make him smile again.

I arrive at the bowling alley, step 3 repeating in my head.

3. Meet new people – but don't pressure yourself to find a new BFF ASAP.

“Hey” i smile at Mrs. Miller. Sure, she’s old, but i can befriend her, right? It counts. “Hey” She smiles back. “How’s Frank?” I ask her, and she asks about my brother after saying her son is doing great in college. “Well, he’s just fine” i reply, and with that Mrs. Miller is off to do whatever she needs to do to keep the place running. So maybe making her my friend is not a good idea. 

Stanly is already there, since his shift started earlier, and he was shining the shoes behind that same counter where we first met. The hours pass by, but no one my age is arriving, it’s either 12 year olds or 30 years old, and my hope to find a new friend is slowly fading. Maybe i should just work on my existing connections.

A short haired girl I recognised from school rushed in, and walked directly to Stanley, who went back to the shoes. As they talked, he glanced at me. I hurried and moved my eyes toward the couple who was about to ask me to get them fries. I never knew i needed to be a waiter if i work at a bowling alley, they don’t even tip me here. Maybe i should quit and get a different job where there is no Stanley Barber and his beautiful smile and stupid curls and charming personality. Somewhere where someone else is choosing the playlist and I'm forced to listen to Justin Biber. Maybe i’ll even start liking his music. Stanley and the girl leave.

An hour passed, and I understand he may never come back here to close, meaning I had to do it by myself for the first time. A couple walks in, and i recognise them from school, in fact, i even manage to remember their names. “Dina, Bradley, hey” I smile at them. The making-new -friends plan is back on track.

 4. Tailor your social media if needed.

I took a picture of the burger I ordered, posting it on my story. I tagged Dinna. My plan succeeded, as you see. Dinna is likeable, however Brad pissed me off. He was being a bit possessive and controlling, but Dinna was blind to it. “Oh, my friend Sydney would be joining us, I hope that’s okay, I just rarely get to hang out with her now that I have a boyfriend. She doesn't really like him, so having the both of ‘em around at the same time is not an option” Dinna says, and the bell rang, meaning someone walked in. The girl that Stanley took off with yesterday sat down across from her. “Sydney! Meet (y\n), i met her at the bowling alley yesterday” Dinna says. “Oh, hi” Sydney smiles, but her voice is a bit disappointed. “Well, i’ll be off soon, i’ll just finish my food” i said. “Oh, okay” Sydney starts, but Dinna’s “oh, no, why?” is clashing. I choose to answer Dinna. “Homework. I had to close the Bowling alley alone since Stan..ley ditched me” i said, deciding to use his name instead of the nickname i got used to. “I wonder why’s that” Dinna said, looking at Sydney. “I- i don’t know if i can share the news with her, no offence, but i don’t know you” Sydney said. “Oh, none taken” I say, But Dinna insists. “Come on, you can’t leave me hanging. You said you hung out with him on the phone, and that you’ll give me the details face to face! Come on, you can trust (y\n), she’s alright” Dinna said, and now I know for sure I don't want to hear Sydney’s news. “Well, we got high,” Sydney gave in. Stanley and I used to get high together. “And then we, uh, slept together,” Sydney says. “You know I'm actually gonna take that to go and leave now, lots of homework” I say, getting up. I paid on my way out, and started to walk home as tears formed in my eyes. I refuse to blink and let the warm, salty liquid run down my cheeks, but when I arrive home, my mascara is all smudged and  I'm shaking. I hurry into my room before my mom notices.

5. Have a game plan when dealing with mutual friends.

Step 5 made me laugh when I first saw it, but now that Dinna invited me to come along with her and Sydney to Ricky’s birthday party, I had to figure it out. I haven’t told Dinna the real reason i left, and when she called to ask about my homework progress my voice was still shaky from crying, and i was confused as to what homework is she talking about, cause i always finish these during school breaks, especially now that i don’t spend them with Stanley. We used to finish as much as we could together, but we’d lose focus and I ended up sitting at the park after school to finish what I had left.

I agreed, thinking it will take my mind off of Stanley, but I later found out he’s planning to be there. All I need to do is just.. Avoid him. I bet he’s gonna be late. He was always late to work, and to our hang outs over at my house or anywhere other than his house. He used to be late at school, but then he started picking me up and I told him to be there half an hour before the time I wanted him there, and he arrived right when I needed him. When he found out, he was so offended, so I reminded him of the first time he picked me up at school. The both of us had to write a two page long essay about arriving on time and the importance of being present at school, since we missed the entirety of the first period. Ever since then, he got to my house 15 minutes earlier than he used to, just to be safe. 

6. Try to learn something from it (if you can).

My friendship with Stanley was good to the both of us. We matured together, we learned new things together. We made each other better, and encouraged each other to be ourselves. Not that Stanley was shy, but he wasn't as shouty as he is nowdays. He wouldn't ask someone to homecoming, for example, but he did that at Rick’s party. Homecoming is tomorrow, and i’m going alone, which is kind of sad. I put on a nice enough dress (or jumpsuit, or suit, whatever floats your boat. I wore a jumpsuit to prom at my senior year). I did my makeup a bit more dramatic than usual. Dinna and Sydney promised me a dance from each. After hanging out with her a bit, I liked Syd. i couldn’t holf the fact she had sex with the guy i love against her, it’s not like she did it on purpose, she was high and as i learned when she confessed to me she has feelings for Donna, not interasted in ever doing that again. I was surprised she made me her secret buddy, but I guess it made sense - she couldn’t tell Dinna without risking their friendship, and the same goes for Stanley, who partially believed he had a chance with Syd.

“You look gorgeous!” Dinna smiled at me as she made her way toward me, hugging me. “You look.. Like a christmas tree, in the best way possible”  i compliment her. She laughs, “thanks”. She offers to go place our votes for prom king and queen, and just when we’re done, Sydis approaches us, dragging Stanley along with her. 

 “Stan” Dinna smiles at him. He was wearing his sky blue suit. When he got it i said it’s stupid, but now that i see him wearing it, it suited him. His fashion sense was kind of weird, but I liked it, it was very much… him. “Dina! You look like a Christmas tree” Stan said. “Thanks, man” Dinna said, “actually (y\n) said the same thing. You two work together, right?”. “Yeah, but we barely get any shifts together” I said. It wasn’t a lie. “Yeah” Stan agreed, looking anywhere but at me. “I’m gonna go get some punch” I said, and left.

7. Accept that you may never reconnect.

They kept talking for a bit, and I took a seat on the benches with my punch. It wasn’t that good, but i said i’m off to get one so i had to stick to the story. “Hey (y\n)” a familiar voice said as the sky-blue wearing guy sat down next to me. He didn’t sit too close, but I could still feel the warmth his body was radieting and smell all 3 colons he had on. “Hey, Stanley” I replied, keeping my eyes on the dance floor. “So you wanna dance?” he asked.  “No, not really” I said. It wasn’t exactly the truth. I wanted too, but i just felt like he’s asking out of pity, or cause Dinna and Syd forced him. You really expect me to believe he wanted anything to do with me after the way he’s been ignoring me for two whole weeks? “Yeah, I guess i get that. Look, I'm really sorry for ignoring you, i just-” Step 1 - don’t look for clouser my mind screamed at me. “You just hate me?” I ask, finally looking at him. “Not you, no, never” he says, turning his eyes to me. They looked just as sad as mine, he was… offended. “I don’t- how can you ever think that?” he said. “Are you really asking that?” I say, a sad laugh accompanies my words. “No, (y\n), i could never hate you, I just hate how you make me feel-” he says, and I look at him confused. “How’s that better?” I say, but he ignores me and continues to talk. “i hate how you make me feel so… not in control. When i’m around you, i get all stuttery, and i have this annoying feeling like- like there are butterflies in my stomach. Have you ever felt that? It’s terrible” he says, and then cuts eye contact. The dance floor seems very interesting to me now, too. “Look, two weeks ago, when you said you love me, I really wanted it to be true. I stayed away because I realized that you don’t feel the same and I have to accept that. But, (y\n), not having you in my life sucked, so I don't care if it’s just as friends, I want you to be a part of my life” he said, fidgeting with his fingers. “Stan..” I started, but I had no clue how to word what I wanted to say. I rested my hand on his shoulder. “Look, it’s cool if you don’t feel the same, but just, be my friend again, please?” he said, and as he finished the sentence he finally looked at me. I took the chance. Now or never. My lips met his. He was surprised for a second, but once he realized what was happening, his hands found my waist and he turned his body to me as we looked for a comfortable enough position. We finally break the kiss to breath, but none of us dares to open our eyes, just in case this is a dream and we’ll wake up if we open our eyes. I can feel his breath on my lips, and I want to pull him into another kiss, but first i have to say something.

“Stan, I won't be your friend,” I say, opening my eyes to look at him. He opened his eyes. “What?”. “However, i will be your girlfriend” the words slip out of my mouth, and the look in his eyes was so worth it. “(y\n), don’t ever scare me like that again” he says, and offers me his hand right as the music gets slower. “Now, may i have this dance, babe?” he asks. “Only if you never call me babe again” I say and take his hand. “That’s fair, yeah, it felt wrong” He Said as he spun me around on our way to the dance floor. Looks like i don’t need to worry about step 7 after all.

[kotokeke-kirishimaismybaby]

about this askgame,,, pal just answer what you feel like answering rn i wanna know all of em if im honest

hehehhe challenge accepted 

Asks for Fanfic writers 

drop a number and a fandom in my askbox and I’ll answer:

1.      things that inspire you hmmm music, other writers, projecting my own need for relationship lol

2.      things that motivate you uhhh idk I think just wanting people to enjoy their time reading fanfic, because fanfic have

3.      name three favorite writers omg I have so many… chonideno, shippeh, newamsterdam

4.      name three authors that were influential to your work and tell why I know longer have recollection of published works, what are book XD umm I’ve always loved JRR Tolkien bc of his world building, theme of friendships, and kickass imagination and dedication to his work

5.      since how long do you write? August 30th 2019 lol my first fic

6.      how did writing change you? Makes me feel like I’m good at something

7.      early influences on your writing any kiribaku fanfic

8.      what time are you most productive? Probably the evenings/ nightimes

9.      do you set yourself deadlines? I want to… kinda did once but got too stressed when didn’t meet them

10.  how do you do your researches? Mmmm google! And flipping through bnha manga lol

11.  do you listen to music when writing? Either whatever song is setting the mood for a fic or anime lo-fi beats playlists on spotify

12.  favorite place to write cuddled up in 9+ blankets in my bed

13.  hardest character to write tetsutetsu…

14.  easiest character to write Bakugou mfking Katsuki… bc self-projection probably

15.  hardest verse to write the nightmare that baku has in ‘I fall away and you don’t let me go’

16.  easiest verse to write Kirishima naming Baku in “a heroes name”

17.  favorite AU to write haven’t written any other than in the canon world

18.  favorite pairing to write kiribaku

19.  favorite fandom to write my hero academia

20.  favorite character to write bakugou

21.  least favorite character to write uhh I don’t think I’ve run into this problem yet

22.  favorite story you’ve ever written “you’re not some useless idiot in my life, got it?”

23.  least favorite story you’ve ever written “I fall away and you don’t let me go”… idk why I can’t stand that fic, it’s my most popular fic too

24.  favorite scene you’ve ever written post-sports festival spar between kiri and baku from Fated Red…. But that fic also has future scenes I’ve written that are just incredible imao

25.  favorite line you’ve ever written Kirishima gives a laugh and reaches a nervous hand to the back of his neck, “I wanted you to have a good time. Seeing everyone pissed you off already… so I thought you’d rather just go for a walk!”

Bakugou deadpans, “You thought that going up 80 floors is the best alternative for cheering me up.”

“Well you said before you liked mountain climbing, so I figured this was close enough.” >>>>> make myself laugh lol

26.  story you’re most proud of Fated Red, but mostly the unpublished parts I’m trying to bridge the gap to get to lol

27.  best review you ever got all the reviews from sweetonmylove make me cry happy

28.  worst review you ever got I’ve been blessed with such good reviews so n/a

29.  favorite story/poem of another author Heartbeat Thunder by shippeh is 10/10 my favorite

30.  hardest part of writing writing lol

31.  easiest part of writing when the characters talk for you

32.  alternate title for (insert story title) hmmm n/a I like my titles

33.  alternate ending for (insert story title) “you’re not some useless idiot in my life, got it?”--- alt ending has a kiss lol but just didn’t fit in

34.  alternate pairing for (insert story title) n/a, I basically only do kiribaku lol

35.  single story or multi-part story? Single?

36.  one-shot or multi-chaptered story? One-shots for sure… multi chaps are so freaking hard

37.  canon or AU? canon

38.  do you reread your own stories? Omg yes… and wonder how tf I did that

39.  do you want to be published some day? Hmm maybe???

40.  which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series I would have loved to see “If I was Stuck on An Island, I Would Bring You” as part of the mha two heroes movies XDXD

41.  one song that captures (insert story title) I listened to Touch by Kehlani for almost all fics to keep it soft

42.  do you plan or do you write whatever comes to your mind? Plan but so much changes as I write

43.  would you ever write a sequel for (insert fic title here) I want to write a small sequel to “you’re not some useless idiot in my life, got it?”

44.  do you write linear or do you write future scenes if you feel like it? All the time future scenes and I never know how to connect them to what I’ve already written

45.  share the synopsis of a story you work on that you haven’t published yet Kaminari mentions to Bakugou at band practice to “not hurt Kirishima” and he proceeds to be petty by pointedly aggressively caring for kiri… ends in confession

46.  share a scene of a story that you haven’t published yet Ground Zero and Red Riot are an inseparable hero team since the beginning of second year at UA, where the provisional licenses extended to allowing student hero pairings on patrol. They have practiced defense and coordinated attacks, and a reassurance where they both know they are safe with the other around. Kirishima loves every minute with his boyfriend, as his partner both in love and as heroes.

It always amazes Kirishima when he’s surrounded by the flashes of Bakugou’s explosions as he moves around in his attacks. Kirishima sometimes tries to take down his villains as quickly as possible just to watch Ground Zero take down his target with his powerful explosions. They are beautiful and loud.

 But it starts slowly, the inevitable.

 Kirishima begins to come home from patrol with headaches and blaming them on fatigue and hunger. A low ringing sounds in his ears that sometimes continues even to the next day. Some days it’s hard to concentrate. And other days, Kirishima finds himself turning around in confusion with a question of “what?” before he realizes he’s missed what was said to him.

What didn’t he just hear? >>>>>> it’s a kiribaku hoh fic that I’m completely in love with and don’t wanna mess it up

 47.  how many unfinished ideas/stories are you working on at the same time? 5.. and only two are slow updates

48.  three spoilers for (insert story title) “Faded Red” – Kiri and baku gets OFA, the emotion trigger for deku when he gets kiri quirk is love…, it’s honestly self-indulgent kiribaku slice of life scenes with an undertone of them being fated together….

49.  writing advice I need some lol maybe to remind yourself that this is for you and don’t have to prove anything to others who may not like it

50.  open question to the writer question I want to answer maybe? Will I keep writing and finish fated red and fake it? Answer is yes, eventually, hopefully soon when I stop being blocked and life gets out of my way

[softspaceboibrian]

One More Present (Ben Hardy x reader)

Request: Can you write a ben hardy one where its the readers birthday and she celebrates it on the bohrap set and they have a party and ben proposes to the reader? (@kellysimagines )

A/N: I hope you like it!! I tried my best (and got very cheesy at the end lol). let me know what you think! and for everyone else, remember, don't be afraid to send in you requests!!

Warnings: none, just super fluffy and cheesy

Wc: 2312

Being Ben’s girlfriend had definitely its perks, such as being able to visit him whenever he was on the set of one of his new movies, meeting the cast and getting a few sneak peeks. And that was the case with Bohemian Rhapsody. As soon as he found out he was going to be playing none other than Roger Taylor in the new Queen biopic, he called you to let you know. He sounded ecstatic and you were thrilled for him, you were happy he was finally getting some recognition for his talent.

When the “band practice” for the movie started, he never missed the chance to bring her along with him to their usual get-togethers, dinners and so on, wanting her to get to know his new cast mates and secretly wanting to show her off. It goes without saying that you immediately grew close with Lucy and Priya, having girls night in and out. But a friendship that didn’t go unnoticed was the one between Gwilym and you. Ben found more than once the two of you chatting about something too clever for normal people to understand, as Ben and Joe would say. But luckily Ben never got jealous, not of him, at least. He trusted you and the feeling was mutual.

When your birthday came around, Ben thought it would have been nice to throw a little surprise party for you on set. He started organising everything almost a month prior, wanting everything to be perfect. Nothing too big, since he knew you weren’t that fond of surprises, but he wanted to do something special for you, something to celebrate the love of his life. He even went all the way and brought you a few small presents, something to show you how much he loved you.

When the big day finally arrived, you woke up in an extremely good mood. The previous night you had baked some cookies for the cast – and they loved your cookies. You rubbed the sleep out of your eyes, before sitting up, the smell of freshly made coffee and pancakes hit your nose, bringing a smile to your face. You pulled yourself out of the bed, dragging your feet down the hallway, yawning while walking inside the warm kitchen.

Ben was just placing your plate on the table when he saw you, walking over to you and pulling you into a soft yet firm hug, his lips gently pressed against your forehead. “Good morning, birthday girl” He whispered, his hand reaching for yours and guiding you towards the table, pulling out the chair for you. “How did you sleep?”

“Pretty well, thanks. My boyfriend never fails at keeping me warm” You giggled, holding his hands for a few more seconds, enough for you to place a quick kiss on his knuckles, before letting go.

Breakfast was good, as always. It might not look like it, but Ben was an amazing cook, and you were sure his pancakes were the best of London, if not the whole United Kingdom. After placing all the dishes in the sink, you ran inside the bathroom, wanting to be able to shower before him, so that you could have enough time afterwards to blow dry your hair and get ready. You had talked about it with Ben, telling him how much you wanted to spend your birthday with the cast, with your friends. And Ben was happy to have you there, on set, with him, for a whole day. Suspiciously happy. He had been acting weird for a couple weeks at that point, but you didn’t worry. You thought he was simply stressed out because if this role. Little did you know it was for a totally different reason.

You had decided to put on a nice, black shirt-dress with pink flowers all over it, cinched in with a belt, accentuating your curves. It was your day after all, and you wanted to look at your best. You slipped on your black platform boots and your jeans jacket, before walking into the living room, where Ben was standing, waiting for you, probably texting the boys. As soon as he saw you, his face lit up. He stepped closer to you, his arms finding their way around your waists. “A princess” he whispered, only a few inches away from your face, with that devilish smile of his on his lips. “I’m so luckily to have you”

“Shut up” you giggled, burying your face against his chest, trying to hide the blush on your cheeks. You loved when Ben talked to you like that, telling you how pretty he thought you looked, how luckily he was to have you in his life, and lately he had been doing it more and more often. “We should probably get going” you said, pressing a quick peck on his lips, before starting to walk towards the front door, Frankie tiptoeing right behind you, probably hoping you would take her with you.

“You sure you don’t want to stay here for a little longer? I mean, we could run a little late and say we just got lost doing breakfast or got stuck in traffic” He was right behind you in a heartbeat, hands lingering around your waists, pulling you closer, so that your back was pressed against his chest, his crotch against you ass.

“As much as I would love to do that, I think we should postpone our plans till tonight. Because, babyboy, not even Brian would buy that excuse” You giggled, turning around in his arms and pressing yet another soft peck against his lips, before taking his hand and walking out of your shared apartment, while Ben protested.

You had moved in with Ben a little over a year into the relationship. He had told you how much happier and relaxed whenever he got to fall asleep with you in his arms and wake up the following morning to find you there, still asleep, lightly snoring, your hair a mess. You had protested, saying that you didn’t look good in the mornings, and he replied by saying that you were a vision for sore eyes, even when at “your worse” – which, he reminded you of each morning by peppering your face with gentle kisses.

When you finally arrived on set, you walked to Ben’s trailer, wanting to leave there the cookies and the champagne you had brought to have with the cast during their lunch break. As soon as you reached the set, everyone immediately showered you with birthday wishes. Even Brian and Roger, who Ben had made sure would be there, hugged you and wished you “happy birthday”. And that was more than enough for you. You didn’t need parties, dinners at fancy restaurants, brunches and all that stuff, all you needed was your friends.

“Bunny, you think you could get going and pick up the stuff we brought from the trailer? We’ll be with you at the tables in the lunch room shortly” Ben said in his full on Roger costume, looking as good as ever. He pressed a quick kiss to your forehead, before going back to running a few more lines. You simply agreed, think it would be a smart move and you would also have time to call your parents, check in with them and thanked them for the sweet messages they sent you that morning. So, just like that, you wandered off, greeting a few people on your way to the trailer, thanking them if they wished you a happy birthday, until you finally reached your destination. You did what you had to do and picked the bag with the cookies and the champagne bottle. You were too lost in your thoughts to realise every one was already standing in the break room when you finally walked in. The only thing that brought you back to reality was everyone’s voice screaming in choir “Surprise!”, catching you off guard.

“What is this?” You asked, a bit confused, but with the biggest smile presses on your face.

“It’s for you, silly” Ben walked over to you, pulling you immediately against his chest, enveloping you in a warm hug. “Happy birthday, my love”

You couldn’t actually believe your eyes. Ben had done all of that just for you: he made sure they were going to be eating your favourite food, bought helium balloons of your favourite colour, even asked to have the afternoon off so that he could spend it with you. You didn’t deserve him, you thought to yourself, walking over to where everyone else was standing, thanking them for the surprise.

The lunch went great, you all had fun listening to Brian and Roger telling you about the good old days, about something stupid they did that one time with the band in that one city in the US. When you took out your cookies, everyone cheered; Joe even stole one of the two boxing, telling you he loved them too much and he was going to take them home and eat them that night. Then, it was presents time: you told everyone they didn’t have to, that their friendship was more than enough, but Rami replied by telling you that you needed to be spoiled, at least on your day. Everyone bought you something. Gwil gave you that book you two had been talking about lately, with a cute note inside; Lucy and Rami bought you tickets to the West End musical you wanted to see so badly; Allen and Priya got together and bought you a purse. Joe, wanting to be a bit more sentimental, gave you a beautiful picture frame with a picture you took all together at one of the first dinners that was hosted at Roger’s. Roger and Brian thought it would be nice to give you something of their own: Roger gave you an old fur coat he used to wear in the 70s and Brian one of his old jackets that had thought of lending to Gwil for the movie, but that didn’t make the cut. Last but not least, it was Ben’s turn. You looked at him, your head slightly tilted to the side “Is everything okay?” He looked nervous.

“Yes, I just hope you like my presents” he smiled, before handing you the slightly bigger of the two velvet blue boxes he was holding in his hands. You smiled, gently opening the box: inside there was a small necklace, with your favourite stone and an engraved pendant that said “like the sun loves the moon”. Your eyes immediately became glossy at the memory of the first time he told you that phrase. It was the time he told you he wanted something more serious with you, he wanted to go public, he wanted you to move in. “Because I love you. I love you like the sun loves the moon, that dies every night just to let her breath”.

“That’s cheesy” commented Joe, after you quickly explained what that phrase stood for.

“ Let them be, Mazzello. You’re just jealous” Lucy laughed, winking in your direction.

“That’s possible” he said, looking at Ben. They exchanged a few silent words, a quiet conversation that ended with Ben nodding his head, before turning it once again in your direction.

“There’s one more present” he said, giving you a soft smile, before handing you the other blue velvet box. You took it from his hands, feeling everyone’s gaze on you. You didn’t know why, but you started to feel nervous. You looked down at the box in your hand, opening it slowly. As soon as you saw what was inside, your heart skipped several beats: it was a beautiful ring, with a stone that matched the necklace. You turned around to thank Ben and you found him there, knelt down on one knee, with glossy eyes and his beautiful smile. “I wanted to do this since the day I met you. That was my plan all along. You know, like Jim from The Office, marrying you a long, long time ago, pretty much the day I met you” you could help but let out a watery chuckle, gently placing your hand on his cheek. “But then I decided to wait, to see where this would take us and, now, look at us. If I’m living my dream it’s because of you and all the times you told me to keep going, to keep working for it. So thank you” At that point you knelt down on your knees before him, your thumb gently stroking his cheek. “I want to have what we have for the rest of our lives. I want to wake up next to you, I want to fall asleep on the couch and having to pick you up bridal style to take you to bed, so that you don’t wake up. I want to surprise you with your favourite flowers and fight with you over who had to wash the dishes. I want to grow old with you and have a family, a real family. I want to be the father of your children. I want to take care of you till our dying days.” Tears were streaming uncontrollably down your face. You couldn’t believe it was actually going to happen. “Marry me. Marry me and make me the happiest man alive.”

You didn’t reply, you simply nodded and pushed yourself on his lips, needing to feel him close to you, in that moment more than ever. You could feel everyone around you cheer, applause, even whistle. When you eventually pulled away, he looked at you, his thumb gently brushing away the tears from your cheeks, before taking your hand and whispering a soft “Shall I?”. Next thing you know, the ring was on your finger and you were the soon-to-be Mrs Hardy.

Best birthday ever.

[pwnyta]

ARE YA READY KIDS?!

Time for all my (non All Might) BNHA doodles. Lots of everything lots of sketchy lots of... Tokoyami...

UNDER THE CUT vvvv

Lets start off weak so when you see something better you can be like ‘wow what an improvement!!!‘

OjIida!!!

Dont listen to Iida when he says he can handle the scary movies. HES LYING.

But maybe Ojiro been knew and just wanted to cuddle?

Never lose track of your excitable boyfriend ever again!!!!

Ojiro cant lift his boyfriend but at least hes good to rest on.

He lost his game Iida! You animal.

The girls recognize Iida as best boy so he gets to come to their girls only hang outs. Hagakure is naked. Dont tell him that tho.

Iida tries to be a proper boy but when he sits properly his engines dig into his legs. His bfs are pretty ok with it tho.

Sleepy bfs after prom (or w/e the movie is doing)

Iida: This is the first one I caught!! IDK hes just so cute! And such a strange color for a Tangela!!!

Todo: .... He caught you.

Iida: This is my second Pokemon! He seems kind of cold but he’ll warm to you after a while!!!

Todo: YOU!!!! YOU SHOULD TEACH IT FIRE PUNCH AND ICE PUNCH!!! Iida: Thats a great Idea!

Iida: And this is my last one so far!!! Shes a special color too!!! Ocha: IIIIDDDAAAAA IS THAT ME?!!?!?

Iida: What’d you guys get!?

Now Iidas favs will find Poke-Iida... but where to start?!

Todoroki is rewarded for his bad manners....

Now for Tokoyami!!!!

Look either Kuroiro dresses in all black and looks like a full shadow all the time or he wears obnoxious colors to really stand out. I will believe nothing else.

Kuro, Toko and Dark Shadow band together to create a monster!!!!

Toko: Like this? Kuro: Yes perfect... now lets go freak everyone out! Shadow: YESSSSS!!!!!

Foiled again!!!

Aoyama and Tokoyami would be the worlds most extra relationship. Let these dramatic idiots be together. Id imagine them all grown up like Gomez and Morticia Adams... tell me you cant see that.

....I think I was trying to make a comic where Monoma is bein a dick but instead of being hilarious he hits a little too close and a little too hard... and actually hurts Tokoyamis feelings. 1-A doesnt fuck around if someones fucking with one of their own.

ShoTokoKou!!!

Toko has a hard time sleepin... even with his two big bfs.

Mineta, Kaminari and Sero: ehehehehe Shouji: ????? !!!!

Kaminari: EHEHE YA HAVE A NICE SLEEP!? YOU GUYS LOOK SUPER COZ------

Shouji: Do you have a problem with the way I choose to sleep with my boyfriends? Sero: CHOOSE?! Kami: IF WE KNEW IT WAS ON PURPOSE WE WOULDNT HAVE SAID ANYTHING!!! Mineta: ITS NOT FUNNY IF ITS ON PURPOSE!!!

Toko: ....??? What the hell is happening... Shouji: They woke you, huh....

3 fools who didnt really mean any real harm: ;;;;;----;;;;; SHOOOUUUJIIIIIII

Sato and Ojiro know better.

Iida, as always, is doin his best.

THE BEEF LIKES THE POULTRY.

Soft beaky boys.

Tokos the smallest of the spoopy kids... even adding Class Bs Kuroiro, Kamakiri, and Yanagi! Even adding Shinso!!!

Sometimes Toko is dramatic angsty... sometimes hes ‘I literally almost killed a bunch of my friends‘ angsty.

Tap your beaks together monster boys!!!!

I was makin a bunch of bird phrases/sayings/words and makin them ships... but I got lazy. Shoujis was ‘A bird in the hand‘ but I didnt like the way it was turning out so w/e. I like OchaTokos the best!

Small boys are awkward and have feelings at each other. More news at 11.

Ya know the eagle face meme... where Eagles only look cool from the side and look really sad and confused facing forward? LOL

Small boys cuddle.

Some TokOjiro... Ojiros pants hole reveals some Woodstock undies!!!

Sometimes Dark Shadow is clingy and jealous!!!!!

SPOOPY BOYS!!!!

SO SUPPORTIVE!!!!!

Mirio and Tamaki play together by a pond and Tamaki turns into whatever Mirio thinks is cool!

A SKETCHY COMIC I DIDNT HAVE THE PATIENCE TO FINISH!!!

M: Are you nervous!? T: Mirio... should we do this... M: Y-yes!! T:... You dont sound so sure...

M: .... I’ll talk to him first...

NE: Mirio.... tell me whats wrong... why are you upset? Who hurt you. Are you in trouble? M: /////sweating nervously NE: MIRIO!!! TELL ME.

M: I CAME HERE TO COME CLEAN ABOUT MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY BOYFRIEND TAMAKI!!! I INTRODUCED HIM AS A FRIEND BEFORE BUT AFTER EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED I WANT TO BE HONEST AND ALSO I LOVE HIM AND WANT TO MARRY HIM SO THERE!!! T: !!!!!!!!!!!!!! //facepalm x2

NE: .......... M: J-just be nice to him please.....

M: SIR PLEASE JUST GIVE ME A MOMENT.... Tamaki....

NE: >:\

M: Im sorry Tamaki... it just... all came out at once....  We can come back again later ok? We dont have to do it today... T: ...No I can do it...

M: Tamaki... T: For you! .... For you I can do it...

M: Really we can just come back later when hes had time to think about it... T: ...It means a lot to you so I--

NE: !!!!! M: SIR?! NE: Its sweet of you to face your fears for Mirio....

//Overly protective but supportive dad Nighteye.

KIRISHIDO!!!

Momos disguise was too cute on her!!!!

Everyone is a little bit gay for Momo.

Only respectable folks get to tell Momo how beautiful she is.

GlamRock wedding!!! Papa Jirou is crying while playing ‘ While My Guitar Gently Weeps‘ and mama Jirou rubs his back and tries to help him hide his tears so he looks cool in front of the guests.

Tsuyu didnt let anyone else have a chance at the bouquet! ITS HERS! AND SHES GONNA MARRY OCHAKO WITH IT!!! NO ONES GONNA STOP HER!

ANIMAL CROSSING!!! Its hard to make the frogs look.... not freaky...

I forgot these too~~~

Some DekAoyama.... I think someone requested Deku and Aoyama dancing at some point and I never fuckin finished it OH WELL

[rreader]

BTS reaction to you teasing them in public.

pairing: bangtan x reader   fandom: bts warnings: mentions of sex ; teasing (in public) ; language genre: smut 

a/n: I don’t even know man, it just kinda happened again, lol. I know this is something that almost everyone that writes bts reactions does at one point, but I couldn’t help myself, SO HERE YOU GO; ENJOY THISSSS ♥ (also, I feel like I need to make up for the time I’ve been away haha) rest of the boys under the cut (if the formating doesn’t get messed up again).

Kim Seokjin

You were celebrating another success for BTS in one of their favorite restaurants, all of you stuffing themselves to the brim, laughing and chatting about BTS and the world.

Jin was laughing about something a staff member had said, when he could suddenly feel a hand on his inner thigh. He turned his head to his left and found you talking to Jimin and Hobi, nodding and smiling, while your hand kept traveling dangerously high, until:

“Jagi, what are you doing?” his eyes widened and his voice was low, but you only smiled sweetly at him, before turning your head back around to face the other two.

He could feel the blush spread on his cheeks and neck and was very grateful for the dim lighting in this restaurant and the fact that no one seemed to pay much attention to him, with how many other people were here.

His breathing began to hitch in his throat and you chuckled to yourself, loving how much of an effect it had on him, when your fingers were only softly brushing over his clothed dick. But even that was enough to feel him harden beneath you.

You couldn't wait to get home that night.

Min Yoongi

He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down, closing his eyes for the tiniest second, before opening them again and putting on his most convincing smile for the camera in front of him.

They were doing another Run Episode, nothing out of the ordinary today.

Except for the fact that you had suddenly shown up with a bag of food, telling everyone that you had only stopped by to feed them.

But Yoongi had known you for some time now and he knew that that wasn't the only reason you had come today.

Yes, you were concerned about the well-being of him, his band members and the staff, but the second he had seen that.. darkness in your eyes, he knew that you were here for an entirely different reason too.

And every time he as much as glanced in your direction, you were either licking your fingers, the spoon, or letting your tongue swirl around the straw of your coffee a little too seductively.

You knew that you were playing with fire here, but that was exactly what you wanted, no, needed, today.

And Yoongi being Yoongi, he didn't disappoint. The second they were done shooting, he shoved you into the nearest empty room, not giving a single fuck about the confused looks that some were throwing you and made you almost regret your decision to tempt him that way in the first place.

But almost, was the important word, here.

Jung Hoseok

You could count the amount of times you had been able to actually go OUT on a date with Hoseok on one hand.

You understood it, really. It wasn't a big deal for you, as long as you could spend time with him in any form.

But the rare moments that you were able to go out, you made the most out of it.

Today was no different.

You were at a music festival, just the two of you in the middle of a mass of people, all focused on the band performing in front of you. Your boyfriend was standing behind you, sunglasses on his nose and a hat on his head, hoping that it would be enough for others not to recognize him. He had wrapped his arms around your middle and you were leaning against his chest, while you were swaying to the music together.

And, truth be told, everything that happened next was not planned. It had all began when you had accidentally rubbed your ass a little too hard against his middle and he had reacted immediately. His arms tightened around you and he dipped his head, so that he was right next to your ear.

“Careful, Jagi.”

And then, it just became a challenge, after that.

“Or what?” you did the same thing again, only this time with full intention, rubbing your ass against his already hardening dick.

He chuckled in such a low voice, that goosebumps began to form all over your body.

“You know the great thing about these festivals? People always manage to find spots to have sex with each other,” and with that, he reached for your hand and pulled you away from the crowd.

Kim Namjoon

“Stop brooding and come dance with me,” you smiled and pulled Namjoon onto the dance floor – that was actually just the living room of a friend of yours, with the couches pushed to the sides – and wrapped your arms around his neck.

He had considered to go home early tonight, not really feeling the party, but was now fairly happy that he had decided against that idea.

After a few minutes, you had turned around, your back now against his chest, while his arms were around you.

And he was sure that you rubbed yourself against him like that for a reason.

“Are you sure you want to do this here, babe?”

“Is that a threat?”

“I’m not sure if you want to find out.”

And when your ass pushed against him once more, he grabbed your wrist and pulled you into the nearest bathroom, locking the door behind him and shoving you against it, his fingeres already pushing down your panties from under your skirt.

“You asked for it.”

Park Jimin

He was reading, sunglasses on his nose, when you stepped out of the pool.

And while his book was fairly interesting, he quickly lost all interest in it, when he saw your wet body, only covered in a bikini, brushing your hair back seductively like in the movies, a grin on your face, approach him.

“Like what you see?” you giggled.

His mouth hung open and you couldn't help but begin to fully chuckle. This guy had seen you naked countless of times, but it was nice knowing that you still had this effect on him.

You pretty much straddled the sun bed he was sitting on and he couldn't help but let his eyes wander downwards, gulping hard.

“I would sit like this on your lap, but there are children around and I don't think their parents would approve of this.”

Jimin thanked himself for booking a hotel room right next to the pool, abandoning his book without a second thought to pull you inside the luxurious suite and then against him.

He couldn’t wait a second longer.

Kim Taehyung

Usually, when your boyfriend and his band members left for tour, you were left behind at home, waiting patiently for Taehyung to return home.

But for whatever reason, this time, you were allowed to go with them.

So here you were, sitting next to Taehyung on the airplane, most boys asleep, Jin playing on his Nintendo, while Yoongi was watching a movie and Namjoon was reading. A quick glance around made you realize that most were asleep, the plane engulfed in darkness, except for the few sources of light.

You began smirking when an idea popped up in your head and your hand reached for that of your boyfriend, interlinking your fingers. He looked up from the magazine in front of him and smiled at you. A little tired, but still happy that you were here with him.

That smile turned into something entirely different, however, when your hand left his palm and traveled under the blanket and towards his crotch area. You bit your lip and leaned your head back, smiling innocently at him.

“What are you doing?” he whispered, but you only continued to palm him through his pants.

He didn't know if it was because of the darkness, the shock, or the fact that he thought it all to be incredibly hot, but he let you continue, until he couldn't take it anymore and pulled you out of your seat and into the bathroom of the airplane, not caring about the look that Namjoon and Yoongi were throwing you two.

Jeon Jeongguk

It was supposed to be like it always was.

He and his band members were supposed to attend, sing, sit back down and watch others perform, possibly get an award and then go back home.

Like every other time.

But things hadn't exactly been normal since he began dating you.

And he knew that every little thing you did that night, was to tease him. Every time you'd brush your hair to one side, to reveal your beautiful neck and shoulders, you knew he'd be watching. He'd be staring at the hints of love bites that your make-up artists tried their hardest to cover all up, knowing that it would remind him of the nights before. He knew that the only reason you had worn that dress tonight, was because of how much he had loved it when you had first tried it on. So much, that he had almost taken you right there and then in the store.

He was breathing heavily, when you finally turned around, sitting one row in front of him and a little to his left, a wicked smile on your face.

His tongue darted against the inside of his cheek and he forced himself to look away.

You'll regret that tonight, he thought to himself.

[dream-woke]

Close Enough

[Tom Holland Imagine]

Warning: Implied smut because I feel weird writing smut.

About: You’re an editor for spiderman homecoming and overtime develope a little crush on the spidey actor - a spidey actor that decides to find a way to get to know you better.

Note: I have no idea how the editing process is organized for movies lol. I tried. -

After a long day of work, you could feel the heaviness of your eyelids beginning to betray you. Your job was to edit scenes for Spiderman Homecoming, a movie which gave you an editing offer you gladly took. It was a lot of work, but you enjoyed it. You had the help of other editors to make the process faster and smoother. You had even developed some friendships with a few of them, already starting to feel as if this place was truly meant for you. But you can’t lie and deny that there hasn’t been a recent delay in your ability to fully complete the scenes you were assigned to edit.

The other editors say its because you’re just new and want to make sure the edits turn out exactly the way they were planned, but you knew the truth. Your eyes had picked up the habit of observing a certain spidey actor and it was starting to effect your power to maintain focus. But how could you not gaze and daydream at his smile or the scenes you had to cut out because he got flustered when he messed up a line or two.

If anyone knew how charmed you were by the actor, they’d laughed and say its not Tom that you were mesmerized by. But that it was Peter Parker. Which you could believe, as you always fell for guys with similiar attributes of geeky and slightly clumsy.

Plus, the only time you’ve seen Tom was in the scenes you were editing , and another when you had a chat with Zendaya after a shoot and he stood a few feet away. You cursed at your heart for once again falling for a fictional character you could never have. Huffing at the thought, you turned off the computer and tiredly gathered your things. Rushing to get out the studio before you were the only person there.

Exiting the room, as you turned the corner, you had bumped face first into someones chest. Quick hands had caught you by your upper arms as you began to stumble back. They had attempted to steady you before you ended up dropping all of your things onto the floor. Looking up, your eyes met familiar brown ones that made you nearly fall onto your knees.

“Oh.” Was the only sound that had came out of your mouth, and was also a little bit louder then what you would have preferred. Tom had a small smile that never failed to make you feel warm. “Wh-What are you doing here?” You stumbled over your words, cursing at yourself for not just apologizing and continuing to make your way to your car before you make a fool of yourself. Tom took awhile to respond, his eyes skimmed over your face, making you shift awkwardly in his hands.

Realizing his hands were still gripping you, he immediately let go and took a step back. Straightening your back, you rubbed your upperarm, already missing the feeling of his hands. “I heard yo- an editor was working on a few more scenes and I just wanted to ask if,” he clamped his hands together. “I could watch how it all works, but I’m assuming you’re the only editor here and you’re about to leave, so-“

“Yeah, I’m pretty tired.” You cut him off, questioning whether or not you should stay a little bit longer. If you weren’t admiring his features, you would’ve missed how his face had slightly fell from your response, causing you to regret interjecting his sentence. From that alone you had decided your next action without a second thought. “But, if you want I can stay a little longer.”

You didn’t notice, but you were smiling more than you should be, and your heart was beating at an unreasonable rate. Toms face lit up in response. “I mean I wouldn’t want to make you stay if you’re tired, but if its okay with you...” He trailed off. He stuffed his hands into his pockets, praying that he didn’t convince you to still go home.

Shaking your head, you said. “Yeah, its fine. I wouldn’t mind staying here a bit longer for you.” The words had left your mouth before you could even think. Tom look flustered, his mouth opening and closing. You were shocked at your burst of honesty, but tried to play it cool and decided not to address it.

Tom gulped. “Great, well, lead the way.” He said, holding an awkward smile. You smiled snd turned back into the room.

—

While you got everything turned on and ready, Tom scooted himself closer to your seat, with the wheels of a chair he had snatched another desk. He leaned forward, looming over your shoulder. You turned your head slight, but quickly turned it back once you realized how close he was to you.

Clearing your throat, you decided to say something before it got too awkward. “So these are some of the bloopers from the first half of the movie.” You said, clicking on one of them and letting it play. Tom watched intently. But unbeknownst to you, Tom wasn’t really watching the clips. He found himself taking glances at you everytime you let out a soft laugh from him doing something stupid in the clip.

Once you had went through some of the bloopers, Tom had noticed that you were ready to leave. Your eyes felt even heavier than they were before and you were thankful for the fact tomorrow was your day off. But as much as you were prepared to go home snd dive into bed, you discovered that you weren’t exactly ready to detach youself from the spidey actor.

“So I dont get to see any parts of the movie?” Tom asked, turning the chair towards you. You let out a chuckle, your mind flickering to the memory of the director telling everyone to restrain from letting Tom see scenes from the movie - even the ones he was in. “Unfortunately not.” You stated. Tom huffed in response, reaching for the ball of rubber bands you had next to the computer.

“Mhm, is that because I can’t keep anything to myself.” He said with a smirk as he looked into your eyes. At that moment, you felt yourself appreciating brown eyes more than you thought you would.

“Eh, I think you keep more things to yourself than most people around here do.” You reassured. “Everyones talking about someone else. Where they are, what they’re doing, you know, all that jazz.” You shut down the computer, feeling that your time with Tom was coming to an end.

Tom nodded, tossing the rubber band ball back and forth between his hands, before placing it back onto the desk. He watched as you began to collecting your stuff off of the floor, setting it onto your chair for you to pick up when it was time for you to leave. “Yea, that is quite true. But sometimes it can lead to the blossoming of a new relationship, you know?”

You narrowed your eyebrows, glancing at Tom. Blossoming of a relationship? Your mind flipped through each moment you had spent with Tom. Not finding anything hinting at a chance for a ‘blossoming relationship’ you concluded he was talking about his friendship with Zendaya and Noah.

Tom eyed you, up and down. He felt what he said was too much, but from the way you were presenting yourself right now, it didn’t seem as if you exactly caught his intentions with you just yet. Licking his lips, he watched you get up from your seat. Tucking a piece of hair behind your ear, you let out a long yawn and shook your head to wake yourself up.

Tom’s stare followed your every moment, before gulping once your eyes met. “Uh, I’m sorry.” He said, causing you to turn your entire body towards Tom with a upwards brow.

“For?” You asked, visibly confused at his sudden apology.

He rubbed the back of his neck. “I-I’m sorry that I couldn’t think of another way to talk to you. Now your tired and you probably have work tomorrow. I just heard someone saying that you were still in here working by yourself, so I took that as an opportunity to get to know you.” He rushed each word out of his mouth rather quickly. You almost missed each word, but you heard every one.

Feeling another yawn creeping up, you concluded all of this to be a dream and that you were at home in bed. Well, that was before he leaned forward and grabbed your hand. Before he looked up at you with those eyes. Damn those eyes.

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you for awhile, I’ve been watching you- sorry, that sounds terrible,” He chuckled, giving your hand a light squeeze. “I noticed you.... the first time I saw you talking to the director.”

Your mouth was agape. You found yourself getting more and more flustered at each word that left his mouth. At this point, your heart was pounding against your chest and you had completely forgot how tired you were. Especially as soon as he used the chair’s wheels as a way to move closer to you. His chest was a mere inch from your stomach and those eyes were even closer below you compared to before.

His legs rubbed against the side of yours, leaving you trapped in one spot. You don’t know how long you found yourself lost in the eyes of the actor, but it was long enough for you to develope goosebumps across your arms. Tom took a breath in, realizing that he had forgotten to breath.

“The only thing I knew about you at the time, was that you were an editor and...” Tom paused, his eyes flickering all over your face, looking for something more than the look of confusion and disbelief painting your face. “I didn’t like that, that was all I knew about you.”

You felt his other hand touch your thigh and slowly make its way up to your hips. Your breath hitched at the feeling. Tom noticed, finding his hand moving underneath your shirt. His digits glided against your bare skin, the trail felt as if each touch was burning into you. The look in both of your eyes had completely changed. The tension had grown into something a little less pure. Tom pulled at your hips, guiding you even closer towards him. You mentally thanked your corworker for buying his own personal seat without armrest as you places your legs on each side of his.

Your nose brushed against his, already feeling impatient waiting for something a little bit more than tiny touches and hand holding.

“I’d like to know a lot more about you if you’d let me..”

[dailysarina]

The Sarina Project

Ok so I gotta put a little A/N at the start of this one beacuse I realized I have to make a litttttllllleee change to this story. Soz. Annyywaaayyyy... I’ve decided to change the POV from first person to third person, which I know is probably SUPER annoying for you but I promise this chapter would work better if it was not just from Karina’s POV. So I hope y’all are ready for some ~e p i c~ punk!Sarah thoughts ^-^

The Sarina Project

Chapter 18: I Hate My Freinds

“Are you sure your ready to do this?” Emily viciously inquired of DJ, who just happened to be sitting next to her. (A/N: Remember, Karina is NOT narrating this she is NOT HERE hehe ^-^)

“Are you kidding??? I’m literally James Bond,” DJ said, popping the p. “I’ve snuck into like 15 classrooms already this year.”

“OMG ME TOO!” Emily said back in response to DJ.

“Ya exactly we snuck into those classrooms together,” DJ unimpressedly said. They both laughed at Emily’s forgetfulness.

“Haha,” she laughed, giggling.

“Ok lets go,” DJ said, immediately jumping into a James Bond somersault and kicking the door to the classroom. Emily crept in behind him, her greenish, hazelish, slightly brown speckled balls of sight gazing over the cold, lifeless, OPPRESSIVE, torture seats... aka... DESKS. (A/N: hahahahhahaha I hate school sum1 halp plz 😭😂)

“There’s no one in here,” Emily said after about ten minutes observations.

“Wow it’s not like I can see the exact same classroom,” DJ sarcastically quipped back at her in such a tone that only DJ could recreate.

“Just get to the desk,” Emily said, deciding to suddenly use her gymnastics skills to backflip across the room and onto the teacher’s desk.

“Wow I, definitely good enough for the olympics if I can do that,” Emily said, obviously very very proud of her recent accomplishments. Ever since she was two days and fifteen hours and 32 minutes old, she had wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. Gymnastics was her LAIFE!! (A/N: Chipotle is laiiifffeee heh XD). DJ rolled his brown orbs he used for seeing almost every day back into his head at Emily’s showyoffiness and walked over to the same teachers desk Emily was standing on.

“I saw Mrs. Bersbedasukeon put the paper with our group project partners on the third drawer from the bottom on the right said,” DJ told Emily, DABBING and pointing toward the correct drawer. Emily pulled open the drawer and grabbed the single piece of paper sitting on there. A piece of paper that could change the life of ALL THE NAMES ON IT. This paper would be the most sacred thing Emily would touch in a long time.

“This piece of paper is so precious,” Emily hugged the paper to her chest while violently popping her p’s.

“Just switch the names!!!!,!!!!!!!” DJ annoyingly said, banging on the desk to gain Emily’s attention back. Emily nodded and started whiting out a few names on the paper with... WHITE OUT; which she had conveniently stashed in her coat pocket and had just pulled out for this specific reason.

(A/N: okiiii idk how to describe this next part because it always plays like a movie in my head... if that makes sense... IDK. But anyway I’m gonna write this next part like a script so it’s easier for y’all to understand. Remember dailysarina cares about her followers!!! ;))

Emily: *quickly runs white out over a few ^convenient^ names*

DJ: *rewrites the new group partners aS THEY SHOULD BE*

“Good. That’s good,” Emily said as DJ forged the teachers’ handwriting. Then the super sneaky spy duo (A/N: “Nice use of alliteration” -Mr. Scoggins, my English teacher haha jk I would DIE if he read this lol xD) left the classroom until the next day.

THE NEXT DAY............,,....

I enter through the doorway to my art class, brushing my newly dyed pink hair out of my eyes and adjusting my lilac colored flower crown. ‘I wonder if Sarah will notice my hair?’ I wonder. Wait. WHY DID I THINK THAT?? Ugh this is so annoying. Sarah is literally the scariest person I’ve ever seen and yet I am CONSTANTLY worried about what she thinks of me. What is up with that?? It probably just because I’m a weird person, and that’s what weird people do. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

“Ew your hair looks like a fairy threw up on it,” Sarah quipped at me the second I walked in the room, without even making eye contact. What the heck?!??,.! Why is she so MEAN? “You also look like that girl from LazyTown.” OH THAT’S IT.

“Yeah, well... you look like Susie from DELTARUNE!” I screamed back at her, crossing my arms in satisfaction. I can’t believe I actually stood up to her! She didn’t get mad and punch me in the face like I thought she would. She didn’t even yell another insult back at me. She just smiled a bit, and went back to drawing a skull and cross bones on her ripped jeans with eyeliner. I skip over to a giggling Emily and DJ, who were sitting at the table next to Sarah, and sit down, fluffing the skirt of my light pinkish salmon dress as I sit.

“What are you laughing about?” I say to my freinds, who seem to be cackling about something I don’t know about. Are they laughing at me?? I wouldn’t be surprised if they were, considering all my old friends at my old school started bullying me for being weird. UGH! WHy is being weird so hard in high school??

“Nooooiittththhhhhiiiiinnnnnnngggggggg............” the blonde haired girl and the brown eyed boy said in complete unison. Ok, that was creepy, I’m just going to ignore that.

“I will now read out the partners I’ve assigned for this art project y’all will be working on,” our teacher, Mrs. Bersbedasukeon yelled at us. I really hope I get a good partner that doesn’t make fun of my pink hair. And I rreeeeaaallllly hope I don’t get Sarah. ANYONE BUT SARAH.

“The first pair will be Karina and Sarah.”

...

...

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

“Ummm, can I please- but I am cut off by the rudest teacher to ever exist. She just goes on giving out partners like I don’t have a problem with mine. HOW RUDE IS THAT

“Ugghhhhhhh now our project is gonna be covered in rainbows and glitter and pink flowers, gross.” Sarah said, banding her head on the table. I feel like I’m about to cRY. THIS IS GONNA BE H O R R I B L E. why does all the horrible stuff always have to happen to me? My life sucks,

“Well have fun with you Project, you guys,” Emily quips sarcastically, popping the p, but I did NOT think it was funny. She gets to work with DJ, and that’s NOT FAIR. why can’t THEY work with Sarah???” At least they sort of l i k e her.

This is probably all their fault.

I hate them sooooooo much. :( 😭

...

WHOOOAAAAAAAA CLIFFHANGERRRRRRRR!!! xD. Soz that this chapter was a little confusing but a lot of stuff that needed to happen so the story can finally pick up (I can’t believe I’ve written 18 chapters!!!) I honestly think this is the best thing I’ve ever written, but REMEMBER. I have NEVER written anything before this is my FIRST time trying fanfic and I really don’t want anyone to judge me. Don’t be r00d LOLOLOLOL.

On a different note........ my mom is FINALLY taking our family to Chicago and I’m literally going to be spending all week hunting for my two favorite people EEEEEEEEEE. I’m hoping to see them at least 7 times, maybe more? I mean I know what kind of places they like to eat at and where they hang out with people (don’t ask me how I know I’ll never tell hehehehe) so it shouldn’t be too hard to find them. By the end of the week they’re gonna LOVE ME! xD xD Anywayyyyy because of that I probably won’t be writing another chapter next week, but I will still be posting d a n k memes about our children! Dailysarina is signing off now hehe. Peace!!! ✌️

[spaceorphan18]

Changed For The Better 1 [Klaine Advent Day 1]

Rating: S for Shenanigans Word Count: 1624 Summary: AU - Kurt’s a struggling actor living in New York, and is currently working on a Made-for-TV movie starring Cooper Anderson.

A/N: Written for (or really should say inspired by because this is not a drabble, lol) Klaine Advent Day 1: Attachment.  

///

Changed for the Better - Part 1/24: Empire State of Mind

Cooper Anderson was pointing in his face again.  Not at him. Not near him.  Literally in his face.  Every scene. Every take.  Kurt Hummel, no longer bewildered by his costar, blinked slowly and took a resigned step backwards.  Cooper didn’t even notice.  

“There she is, my one true love,” Cooper exclaimed.  He was not a real person.  He was a cartoon character come to life, shouting all his lines, never following any kind of direction, and of course, pointing.  

“Then you should go get her.” Every time Kurt recited the line, it was with less enthusiasm.  He was trying.  He really was.  But after fifteen takes, it was getting harder.  He almost choked on the cheesiness.  “If she is your one true love, and you know that she is, you have to tell her, show her even. You need to do something big – like propose!  And oh my god, if you’re really going to propose you better bring the bling because there aren’t two lovebird soulmates in this world as glorious and fabulous as the two of you.  And you know if you like it you have got to put a ring on it.”

Oh, god, did the writers have Beyonce on repeat while they came up with the screenplay?  

“You’re right, Julian,” Cooper suddenly grasped his arms then paused and gave him a confused look.  Kurt wasn’t sure if Cooper was trying to pause for dramatic effect, or if he had just forgotten his next line.  Kurt leaned in, waiting.  “Darla has to know how I feel.  And what better day to propose then on Christmas?”  Cooper whipped around him, nearly knocking him over in the process, as he ran off screen.  

The director yelled cut.  And thankfully, they didn’t have to do the scene again.  

Two months ago, Kurt had been thrilled at the idea of being in a movie.  Sure, it was one of those cheesy, made-for-tv Hallmark Christmas Specials - Love On The Page - the story of two abscent-minded people who met at a bookstore, and fell in love over their shared love of reading romance stories - but it was a movie.  And in the five years that he had been out of college, roles hadn’t exactly landed in his lap.  So when there was an audition came up for the role of Julian Harper, the very flamboyant (and ridiculously stereotypical) gay best friend who helped get the main characters together, he took it.  Hey, he was in a movie.  Neither Rachel or Mercedes could say that.  It was also a job - one that he needed if he wanted to keep living in New York.

The bonus, at first, was working with Cooper-body of a god-Anderson.  He knew of Cooper his many insurance commercials.  The commercials didn’t do him justice.  Cooper was one of the most attractive men he had ever seen in real life.  He was also, Kurt learned soon enough, one of the most annoying.  After two months on set, Kurt didn’t feel so lucky anymore.  

“Kurt,” Cooper placed an arm around his shoulders.  Kurt rolled his eyes - here we go again.  “The director seems to think your performance was fine.  And it is, it is…”

“But…”

“But,” Cooper clenched a fist.  “I’m just not feeling the intensity from you.  Where’s your passion, Kurt? Look, I know you have an attachment to the methods you learned in that radio school-”

“Musical theater.”

“Same thing.  But you’re all in your head.  And real passion comes from here.”  Cooper slapped him on his chest.  “That’s your heart, Kurt.”

“Yes, I know.”

“Also, I think you can play the part a little, I don’t know, gayer.”  

Kurt raised an eyebrow.  The only way role of Julian Harper could be any gayer was if he literally fucked a dude on top of a Pride parade float while singing Judy Garland, with RuPaul and a bunch of drag queens swirling rainbow flags behind him.  

“Wait,” Cooper paused again.  Kurt couldn’t tell if he liked being that dramatic, or if it really took him that long to process a thought.  “Are you really gay?

Only Cooper Anderson would ask that.  

“Yes…”

“I should introduce you to my little brother.  He’s not quite the talent that I am, and only half as good looking, but some say that we’re twins.  Only, we’re not…twins.  He’s also gay, and…”

“Nope,” Kurt didn’t even want to imagine what a less attractive Cooper-twin would be like.  “I’m good.”

Kurt managed to slip away before Cooper could try to give him any more advice, or try to set him up on a date.

On his way out of the studio, Kurt bumped into one of the producers, who happened to be escorting a very attractive blond man into the studio.

“Oh, hey, Kurt, glad I bumped into you,” the producer said.  “Seems we found you a boyfriend.”  

Kurt did a double-take.  “What?”

“Meet Sam Evans, we just cast him as Julian’s boyfriend.”

Oh right, the last scene where everyone ends up happily-ever-after in a flashforward.  

The blond man held out his hand.  “Hi, I’m Sam.  Sam-I-Am.”  

Kurt shook it “Hi, I’m Kurt.”  

“It’s so nice to meet you,” Sam grinned. “I mean I’ve never really done a movie before.  I’ve been on a set but mostly for modeling.  My agent said it’d be a good role to take if I wanted to do a little more with my skills.  I’m still not sure, but I can’t believe I’m on a real movie set.  This amazing, right?  Wow.”  Sam continued to shake his hand as he spoke, and for a moment Kurt couldn’t help but crack a smile.  It had been a long time since he met anyone with such genuine interest in what was going on.  It was a nice change - infectious almost.  “Looking forward to working with you, Kurt,” Sam said as the producer ushered him away.  

“Yeah, same.”  

/

It was Friday night, and unlike most people in New York City, Kurt had nowhere to be.  He wasn’t ready to go home yet, despite the six hours of the Facts of Life waiting for him on DVR.  The apartment felt too lonely since Adam had left.  And as much as he was glad that was over - as much as he was glad he had his own space again - the ache of loneliness was beginning to creep up on him again.  It didn’t help that Mercedes and Rachel were always busy with their own lives.

“Kurt, I’m so, so sorry I can’t make it to dinner tonight, sweetie,” Mercedes said over the phone as he walked to the subway. “I have to get this track finished.  The album’s on a deadline - and if I don’t get it complete, they’ve threatened to use autotune.  And you know my voice doesn’t sound good autotuned.  We’ll have dinner tomorrow, I promise.”  

At least Mercedes had a legitimate excuse.  Rachel seemed to be all over the place lately.  “Kurt, Jesse’s taking me out to dinner tonight, and I really think it would be beneficial to my career to go,” Rachel had said that morning when they met for breakfast.  

“Jesse? What happened to Brody?”

“Brody and I just weren’t connecting,” Rachel had said.  “Plus, I found out that he was sleeping with half the city.  But it’s fine.  It’s fine.  Jesse’s great and we’re connecting much better.  It probably helps that we’re costarring in the same show.  Think of the publicity we’ll get if we’re dating - people will just line up to see if the chemistry is real or not and it is. And the show will be a huge hit.  And then guess who becomes the star? Me.  And then I’ll be getting plenty of offers and next thing you know, someone will be writing a musical based on my life - and if Jesse and I have such a great connection, he can star in it, too.  Don’t you see?”

He was used to Rachel’s brand of crazy, but what he really saw was his friends succeeding when he felt stuck.  Just stuck.  

He took the long way home that evening, stopping to check out a new music store, and grab some takeout on the way home, delaying the inevitable return to an empty apartment.  

But when he arrived home, someone was waiting for him.  

That someone was dressed like a glittery, steampunk love child of David Bowie and Lady Gaga.  “Hi, I’m Elliott Gilbert.  I’m supposed to be meeting a Kurt Hummel here - I answered an ad about needing a roommate?”

Oh, god, Kurt had completely forgotten.  “Oh, right, right,” Kurt said fumbling for his keys.    

“Sorry, I don’t usually look like this - well, mostly of the time anyway, I just got off a show.”

“A show?”

“Yeah, I’m in a band,” Elliott gave an easy smile.  “But don’t worry, I won’t practice at home if you’re not into that.  I just – really need a place to sleep, and keep my stuff.   See, my last roommate just got married, and this other band I was in, I stayed a lot at their place, went out to the LA scene, but I’ve been in New York for, I don’t know, ten years now, and it feels too much like home, you know?  Anyway, they’re raising rent at my old place, like, a couple grand, which I can’t swing even with a roommate so I’m really hoping this works out because it’s either this or moving in with my current band - which means a single loft with six people in Bushwick, or I guess moving back to New Jersey.”  

For the second time that day, Kurt gave an honest smile.  Maybe things were looking up.  

[mattyslittleworld]

dead mans coffee

July / 2020

Just woke up in my front seat, at a rest stop in Tennessee. First thing I saw was my ALL WILL SUFFER tattoo on my leg. A constant reminder of a different person. Tomorrow I’m getting coffee with Skrillex’s right hand man in Nashville, and I’m nursing a cold coffee in the heat watching this crazy lightning shoot across the skyline. It looks like the end of the world. Or some fucked up Lucero song. I must’ve pulled over for a second and closed my eyes and just dropped dead for hours while parked, I’m on the way to my hotel. 

I am sitting in a diner on broadway in Nashville, TN. Nursing another shitty coffee booking meetings. As the texts come in I ignore them because they are covering the screen and distracting me from reading and studying how to properly sell my soul to the devil at the crossroads In Mississippi. 

Clarksdale, Mississippi

12:30 am

Where Robert Johnson, Bob Dylan, and now, Matty Carlock, sold their souls to the devil. 

December / 2020

Sitting in my home, in Hollywood, CA. I have the window open, and I hear the subtle sound of LA breathing, cars passing on the boulevard, sirens off in the distance, and a vinyl record of mine spinning at the lowest volume possible for me to still hear yet ignore it. I feel calm and at peace, although, it seems like a parallel feeling is war, confusion, imposter syndrome, abandonment, and skeptical. How could these two umbrellas of emotion coexist? Its very interesting. Ive been recording so much music that has nothing to do with my artist project. Its been liberating to put that aside for something greater. A new focus. Leaving artistry a vessel solely for extreme self expression and cathartic release. 

July / 2020

Winding the day down, 10:30pm. With an open tab that reads “Tigers Jaw holiday show” - on pause. I open my Mac book on my couch, ready to go through stems and ratchet strip club beats, and it catches my eye. I press play and it leads me down a rabbit hole. I find myself watching “Never Saw It Coming” right into “Chemicals” / live in Boston. Like lightning it struck through my entire body. Maybe it was the 2 hour long conversation with Andy? And the memories we were trading. The bond we have over hard times, innocence, violence, literal blood on the pavement, years of freezing in the winter....nowhere to go. The people that were around - we made forever memories to these two songs. I right away, made a playlist that consists of “The Sun, I Saw Water, Chemicals, Never Saw It Coming, and Planes”. On top of that I found the live acoustic set they recorded and put out. When I was young on DIY tours, sleeping on floors, dirty as shit, poor as shit, a human being at the very best.....the uncertainty of my near future was so bleak. I remember Title Fight came out with their record “Shed” - and the song “where am I?” would lay me down on long drives, or on the floor. I’d watch white lines pass one by one by one into the abyss of nothing. 

The line 

“Another floor

A different ceiling than the night before

Where am I?

While you’re back home”

Missing my girlfriend at that current time, leaving, and just laying on a strangers floor thinking where am I while you’re back home? What am I doing? Maybe there’s nothing only this moment?

On the tigers jaw live EP they covered this acoustic and it’s everything right now. I am fortunate to live a block away from the sunset strip - and I grabbed my skateboard and just bolted into the night. 

This SO SPECIFIC FEELING of these songs. That nobody in this environment will ever understand. It’s so beautiful. It’s so real. It’s so raw. It’s exactly what I need right now - as the past 3 weeks I’ve been living here have moved faster than the past 4 years. A loss of identity easily awaits you. It’s like you fight your whole life for that moment, to get to where you dream of, to get a shot. Scrape and crawl. And then reset. Since I’ve been living in Hollywood my day to day has been a huge mirror for me. The parts of myself I’ve been trying out run have caught me. Maybe all of this could coexist? 

March 2nd / 2021

Spring is here. Its 75 degrees in LA and theres this new thing I noticed while driving around…..the overbearing smell of flowers in the air. It sounds like a movie. Its fucked up cause It felt like a funeral in my car. I was like what the fuck is happening? It smells like a small funeral in here….are my dreams dying? Am I dying? Is punk dead? Okay its just a Ryan gosling movie out here I guess. Whatever lets go. Here’s some hatrebreed. But the windows are down. My mood is different. My spirit is lifted, which ive been desperate to say. I automatically get punched in the guts with the feeling of driving so fucking fast, and blasting title fight. Skateboarding. Looooooooooong drives with fucked up friends to out of state shows no one will be at. Im listening to Stab by Title Fight - off the Shed LP. What a specific time in my life this brings back. That I usually talk about on this little throw up blog often. Spring is such a pivotal time in my life every year. Since covid shows stopped - human decency stopped - community stopped - my natural habitat was taken from me, and all of my friends and family. I remember living in New York in 2011. At the New Yorker. I was studying at the Institute Of Audio Research to be a janitor in my home town. Because that’s what they teach you. Instead of studying compression, and listening to washed up hacks talk to me about music, I would walk out my building onto 8th ave. B Line it Penn Station. Get on the LIRR and ride that shit right into the best LI shows every night I could. Id meet all my friends from Jersey / NYC / Philly and even Baltimore because it was so common to make it a priority to no matter what, drive hours on end to support a hardcore shows and to not lose touch with the hundreds around the country that you call family. Drive to Richmond for a shows on a Monday night, go off, hit a diner after with your new found tribe, then drive home, be back at 6 am, and just stumble into your bullshit job with a black eye or scratches all over you. It was all worth it. Probably quit that job anyway to go on tour with your friends band and live as gypsies for the entire summer too. Spring embodies this spirit for me. Church parking lots in Doylestown, PA - full of kids from all over the country, who left their problems in their hometown, to just get on the road with their best friends and basically start a new life. It is just amazing how formative those years were for a lot of my friends. I have people I met at shows from all over the country messaging me always checking in, and supporting, and sometimes it feels like I know them better than my first cousins, aunts and uncles. We were at war together. We fought against the world together. We found ourselves together. We created shit from nothing. Determination and passion. Oh no….Planes by Tigers Jaw just came on. You know the vibe. This shit just hits so different now as a pop / hip hop producer. This PA scene, mixed with NJHC, just stood me up and gave me confidence to have my own voice, my own thoughts, and to fight back. Something about being in a shitty car and it smells like dirty vans and like…..axe to cover up the smell. BELTING Basement and car moshing and almost driving off a bridge. Listen. I know every single blog is about this. But fuck you fight me. ITS CALLED SELF EXPRESSION GRANDMA. SO STRAP INTO YOUR BOOT THINGS AND ENJOY THE RIDE TO NOWHERE. Its been crazy living in LA. I live directly on Hollywood BLVD, on the Walk Of Fame. Where I was almost killed two weeks ago over someones gang that my ass is not in. My guy looked at me and said YO YOU MATTY? And I was listening to Taylor swift in my headphones walking back from Starbucks and it was so funny how different my energy was. I was like bro can you kill me already dude because these Taylor tones are so good that they gunna just end up killing me anyway. So perfect timing. I think the guy was mad at my friend to say the least lol. But every night its loud 808’s, the sounds of the city, amazing energy, and neon lights shining in from lit up billboards off the BLVD. Its such a culture shock for me. I feel like im too aggressive just from being east coast. But its just what it is. It took me a little to adapt to being in sessions and meetings with seasoned people in this industry who have major cuts and recognition. But I just learned to double down on myself, and be as authentic as I possibly can be. Theres nothing like crushing writing sessions in the pop realm, then turning off my shit, unplugging, and run into the night with my skateboard and old punk records. It’s almost like my own secret that is becoming my blood. I haven’t been communicating with the ones who like my music, have interest in what im doing, come to my shows etc - since I touched down here….I just unplugged….started writing HEAVY and decided to dedicate months to getting better, learning, becoming smarter, discovering a vision that’s much broader than what were sold, finding myself, making sure my wisdom is parallel to my age - if not wise beyond my years. A lot of artists and bands SING, PLAY, PERFORM, PROMOTE. But I have decided to WATCH, ATTEND, and LISTEN. Everynight I sit down with tea, unplug, and spin records on my turntable…in the dark, in my living room, alone….all kinds of records. From The National, to Springsteen, to Title Fight, to Hendrix, to the rare Troublemaker LP and 7” I have…..Sharon Van Etten, Jesse Malin…..ugh. Its just bliss. Pure bliss. Right now im drinking coffee and bouncing from listening to Into It Over It and American Football. I spent all last night rapping my ass off, mixing, and singing ref vocals for other people. It was so fun. Im finding a lot of my new material is this spirit im talking about - but over hip hop production. I want to tell my life story and combat the stereotypes of modern rap and pop music with true intentions and unique tones of untold stories that press, radio, and this market usually doesn’t get fed. Ive also realized a lot of music I was promoting over the past year to come out (prior to the pandemic) hasn’t come out….and I know people are questioning that….what is happening? So before covid I had German solo dates booked - and then I was going to the UK right after. I have a bunch of single drops lined up with music videos. Some you can guess with who. And then the pandemic hit and I canceled everything and decided to pivot my focus into my passion for songwriting and production, instead of sitting around “waiting for shows to come back.” I pretended that shows were never going to come back and doubled down on my career as a producer, that at the time, still is, moving forward at a faster rate than my artist shit. So I packed my shit after offers, and opportunity presented themselves. Touched down on a Tuesday, with meetings that Friday. Off to the races. In sessions that following Monday. Fast forward here we are. Hungry, learning, learnt, turned 30. Looking at the next decade like Mcgregor at the weigh in. Fight ready. Ive learned so much since the fall that all of the music I had planned on releasing, I loaded it back up, tore it apart, and re built it. So its not stale, so its not expired, so its not “then”….so its NOW. Which im so glad I did, and im doing. I don’t think ive been in the booth more. My mind is so stimulated by this wave im on. And its got me in a good place. Now that the spirit of spring is here, my mental health is going to be taking a big leap as well and im going to do everything I can to just flood all of this content. I think Never Meant by American Football is the best song ever made. Me and Mike were talking about doing a song together a few months ago and that would be such a trip for me. 

I wanted to talk about my recent trip to Joshua Tree. I was invited by Christopher Thorn from Blind Melon to live at his studio for a few days to write together. I didn’t really know what to expect. I met him once or twice thru Clinch, and just around the Sea Hear Now circle back east, and I was familiar with No Rain (his hit). We got on the phone, picked a weekend where it’d work for both of us, got some covid tests, and boom. Packed my shit again (right off a flight back from New York, where I shot 3 music videos, and did 1 remote session in 2 fucking days), and drove out to the desert. There is no address so I had a map. It was epic. It was in the desert desert. Like THE DESERT FAM. Coyotes at night, snakes and shit. The air was so dry, your lips would get chapped to let you know death was right around the corner so you better man up baby boy. Beforehand - from all the traveling and flights, and burning myself out on videos and sessions, I found myself listening to a lot of acoustic Nebraska Springsteen type shit. John Moreland, or even like acoustic bayside, Lucero, Leonard Cohen, Tom Waits…..just pure music with no samples, not gridded, not sold, no machine, no click, just real live country music inspired by the human condition….of the earth. It was just speaking to my soul…..so when we booked this to get in the room together….man was I ready. I don’t think ive had an experience so fruitful to the soul. And ive played shows in Slovenia, and sipped espresso on a bridge that looked like a painting, staring at subtle mountain tops off in the distance like I was a character in some book. We started working at night and ran it up till like 3 am. As the sun came down the lights off in the distance miles and miles away were so clear because we were just the only life form around….and it would just shine into the studio windows and reflect on the perimeter making it seem like we were surrounded by New York City. It did a lot for my soul to play drums, acoustic, sing, play piano, shred electric, even mix a little. I felt like I made a very fast lifelong friend. Its been a minute since I got on with someone like that. We talked a lot about growing up touring. And wed finish each others sentences regarding topics that ONLY people like us would know. Like Subway being a life line for DIY touring, or the weird strange feelings of comfort from rest stops in the middle of nowhere at 4 am, the rest stop coffee that you get to just make the next 2 hours of the drive into town bearable. But then you see your boy from your band in the other aisle so you throw shit at him. Then you all stumble back into the van/bus and just disappear into the night. This shit was so needed for me. When Id wake up, id make espresso, and just sit out front and listen to Joe Rogan, at this random chair that was behind his studio, facing the mountains. Just endless property waiting to leave you 6 feet in the ground. I sat there and sipped my espresso, and just reflected on the long journey of my career. How many random moments like this ive found myself in since I was 15. In the middle of the desert where Springsteen hangs out with my heroes, off the strength of my songwriting. Or in Romania drinking coffee, fucked off, on a bench far from the venue, by random train lines in the pouring rain by myself. The farthest from humanity I can be. Or the random VFW hall in my head that I don’t even know where it is, with my little punk crew, who all smell like complete shit and cigarettes and soda, fucked off god knows where, just to finger point and sing along to this band we found on myspace that were in OUR hometown the weekend prior singing to our band. Theres just an endless string of memories that can go on forever, with stories that just fulfill a lifetime, of conversations that just make the white lines on I95 move faster. Or just everyone is quiet - reading a book - texting - exhausted from the night prior - and you just ABRUPTLY turn on teenage dream by Katy Perry SOOOO LOUD - take your shirt off and start dropping it like its hot from the passenger front seat, and catch a mid afternoon front flip stage dive into the backseat. From those youthful days of this underground spirit, to existing in a realm of pure monsters of my craft, I truly believe this next decade could co exist and be one for the books. Damn I feel good. Also me and Sasso started a book club called BSU and you can’t be in it because you probably read books and the only rule for our book club besides not speaking about book club is, you can’t read books. Okay im going to go buy a bike right now so I can ride It to Mexico and get abducted by the cartel and sold for bitcoin. FAREWELL EARTHLINGZ. 

[theglorydefender]

Bill S. Preston imagine x

For my girl @gnarlygrace Hope you’ll like it! It’s long af lol

WARNING: This imagine may fuck you up

 San Dimas, California, 2017. I’m about to embark on a journey of a lifetime. I’ve been preparing for this for months now, I’ve been doing all sorts of researches, carefully planning and organizing everything. I know it’s possible, I’ve tested it and now, I’m ready. I’m Grace and I’m about to go back in time.

 Ever since I was little I was fascinated by the whole concept of time travel. I’ve read articles and theories about it and decided to create my own time travel machine. At first I though there was no way it could work but after many attempts, fails and even a few not so serious injuries, I’ve succeeded. My traveling device is a watch. I set the date and time and I’m able to go anywhere I want. I’ve tested it with a few things around the house, including my cat that time traveled 10 minutes into the past and got home alive. My summer break just started and I’ve calculated everything. When I go back in time I’ll be away for two months but in our time, it’ll be only two days. I’ve set my date, 1988 here I come. I’m about to press the button..I’m so scared oh my god, please god let it work..plea-

Suddenly, all I saw was a bright light and I’ve lost my balance, I think I’m about to faint..

I’ve just opened my eyes, I’m looking round, it’s morning, around 8am..Not sure if this was a dream but I’m getting up and I see that I’m laying on someone’s front yard. How long have I been here? What am I doing here? Suddenly, a tall guy runs down the street shouting at someone..

“Bill! Bill! You forgot your guitar picks in my garage!”

Another guy, I’m assuming Bill, starts running towards the tall guy to get the guitar picks. They’re both wearing rather retro outfits, kinda 80s if you ask me..wait..could it be? Did it actually work? I got back to..1988..Still trying to adjust to the older version of San Dimas I start wandering down the street, still feeling a bit dizzy I stumble across a Cola can on the street and accidentally bump into someone..I shake my head a bit and look up to see a blond curly guy whom I recognize immediately. It’s Bill, the guitar picks guy..

“Oh I’m so sorry!”

“Hey it’s fine! Are you ok?” he grabs my hand to prevent me from falling.

“Yeah I’m just..a bit drowsy that’s all..” Now I’m finally able to look at him properly. He’s taller than me, wearing a crop top exposing his, must i say, rather nice abs, his eyes are a weird mixture of blue and green and one blond curl is hanging over his forehead. I gotta admit, I could definitely have a crush on this guy..

“Are u from around ? I haven’t seen you before?” he asks.

“...Ugh yeah, I’m..I’m from San Dimas”

“Oh cool! I’m Bill! Look, I gotta go but I’ll be seeing you around!”

“Nice to meet you Bill!..I’m..Grace” i said, almost in a whisper as he ran down the street. Close encounter with people from the past is not always a good idea if you disappear after a month or something..I’m thinking about what to do, where to stay ? I can’t just knock on someone’s door and ask them to be their guest for 2 months! I gotta figure something out..I know! I’ll spend my days here and go back into 2017 at night, no one will notice and I get to spend the coolest summer in 1988 since my little invention seems to work pretty well.

This became my plan and it was working just fine. I would explore San Dimas all day, enjoying all of these retro things and go back home at night. It’s been a week now and I haven’t stopped thinking about this guy Bill. I went to the record store to see what I can find and I pulled one of my favorite Whitesnake records only to hear someone behind me say:

“Ready an’ Willing ? Nice!” I turned around to see the blond boy smiling at me.

“Oh hey! Bill, right?”

“Yeah! I’m sorry we haven’t meet properly that day. I totally didn’t catch your name”

“It’s fine, I’m Grace” I said in a friendly tone. After all, he seems like a nice guy.

“So..you like Whitesnake ?”

“Yeah I’ve been a fan since forever! You ?”

“Totally! They’re pretty triumphant!” We spent what seemed like hours talking about our favorite bands and music and just joking around. It was time for me to go home so we said goodbye to each other and I rushed to find some sanctuary where I could safely teleport myself back home without anyone seeing me. This guy..had the cutest cheeky smile and his eyes were just..ugh! He was so sweet and friendly and overall, a giant goofball and my crush for him was definitely starting to get serious. We would get together and go for walks, he would show me his favorite places in San Dimas, which unfortunately don’t exist in my time anymore and I was having the time of my life. I know I’ve said that I should avoid a close encounter with people here but I couldn’t help it. I needed him, he was always there to cheer me up and mess around and I fell for him, hard. I’ve started noticing his glances, the way he would stare at me and smile but turn around when I would notice. He would ‘accidentally’ brush his hand against mine, smile on everything I say and even blush if I compliment him on something. I was getting the vibe that he liked me back and that’s something I wanted more than anything. One day, he called me over to his place because his parents will be out of town and he suggested that we have a movie night. I’ve never been to his place before and I started feeling anxious because of the very thought that I would get to spend the night there. I’ve informed my parents that I will be at my friend’s house for two days before I went on my journey but they never notice that I’m actually in my bed every night. Fine by me!

It was time for me to go to Bill’s place and I was trying to calm myself down because we’ve already hung out before, so what if we were gonna spend the night watching movies at his place? Nothing’s gonna happen..right?

I got there at around 8:30 pm and he already chose a movie. “Halloween”, of course, not that I was expecting a romantic comedy from him. We sat on a couch in the living room and he only left the floor lamp on. “It’s scarier if we turn the lights off” was his explanation. Cheeky as always. The movie started and I saw him tense a few times during certain scenes even though he was trying to look all brave. I’ve noticed that he would occasionally turn around to look at me and then go back to watching a movie. At one point, my mind started wandering as I was trying to comprehend the fact that I was in his house, sitting incredibly close to him. Suddenly, the creepiest face appeared on the screen and scared the hell out of me because my mind was elsewhere and I grabbed Bill’s arm trying to hide my face behind his shoulder. He tensed a bit from my sudden move and started giggling.

“Hey it’s ok! He won;t hurt you, I’m here”

I looked up to see him smiling at me. He moved the hair which was covering my eyes and I’ve noticed his expression getting more serious. His eyes focused on me and within seconds I felt his lips on mine. He briefly kissed me and pulled away, scared that I may get mad or something. I put my hand on his chest and started moving it towards his neck, feeling his fast heartbeat. He got a bit confused by my reaction but seeing that I was fine with it, we started kissing again. His lips were the softest thing ever and he moved them so slowly, trying to make the most of it. My hand was in his curls pulling him closer to me and I felt him putting his hand underneath my shirt, slowly going up my back. Before we went any further I knew it was time. Time for me to tell him what’s been going on.

“..Wait..I can’t..” pushing him away from me

“Are you ok ? What’s wrong ? Was it something I did? I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to-”

“No, Bill, it’s fine. You’re..wonderful..I just..I have to tell you something”

“Yeah sure!”

“I’m not..from here..”

“You mean you’re not from San Dimas?”

“No, I mean..I’m not from..this year”

“..Wait..what do you mean..?”

“I mean I’m not from 1988! I come from the future, I live in 2017 and ugh, I made this weird time machine watch and-”

“Wait woow slow down! Are you messing with me?”

“No! I’m being serious! Look!” I grabbed his hand and pushed the button on my watch so we could go back 10 hours earlier. Everything happened so fast and when I got us back to tonight I saw him shaking, unsure of what just happened. His pupils were huge and he was staring at me, completely shocked.

“I know it’s crazy and I never thought it would work but it did! I never planned on this to happen but it did and you’re the most amazing guy I’ve ever met but I have to go back Bill! I have to! This is not my life, I can’t live here”

“No, wait..You can’t..You can’t leave! You can’t leave right now! Let me go back with you! I’ll go I don’t care!”

“No Bill! You have to stay! You have a life here, everything and everyone you know is here..You can’t come with me..”

He started crying, begging me not to go..”Please Grace, don’t leave me!..I love you!”

“I love you too but I have to go..I love you too but I have to go..I love you too but-”

“You love who?” “What?” “Grace, sweetie, who do you love?”

“Mom..? Oh I just..” suddenly I realized I was in my bed soaking wet. It was a dream..all of this was just..a dream.

“Honey come downstairs, we got new neighbors and we invited them over! Get dressed and come to meet them” I got up, still confused from what just happened..I got ready and came downstairs. A couple was sitting in the living room and I saw someone coming from the kitchen with my mom. A blond, curly, green eyed boy..Could it be?

“Hi! I’m William. William Preston, but you can call me Bill” he said as he looked at me and winked.

~Here’s my video for extra feels~